Randy's Sixth Life

Fighting It

2010-02-11T16:18:00.000-08:00

When my good friend Greg was having some sort of challenge going on in his life, he’d walk in the room or give me a call and inform me he was “Fighting it”. Greg is from Alabama and stands about six foot six in his socks. With a deep baritone voice that can only come from the depth of a man that size, when he’d utter those words, it had meaning and you knew something was up. He’d state, “I’m in the middle of something I can’t quite figure out and I’m fighting it Randy”. I always thought this a very descriptive phrase as it clearly summed up a challenge one was faced with in two very succinct words. To this day I can always hear Greg’s strong voice summon up the beast.

I am a big fan of Charles M. Russell, the cowboy artist of the last century and Montana fame. Years after being enlightened to the phrase from Greg, I came across a story in Mr. Russell’s memoirs that stated when he couldn’t quite get a painting to come together, he’d be ‘Fighting it’. He was a stickler for details in his work and when he couldn’t get a charging buffalo or a cowboy’s lariat to look the way it does in life, he would state, “I’m fighting it.” Same meaning, different person but again, a catching phrase I have used many times in my life when something wasn’t going the way I expected or presented a test.

The other day I was watching the evening news when the anchor came on towards the end of his broadcast and stated that a famous movie director had died. He was seventy some years old and had lost his ‘fight’ with cancer. I have heard this announcement many times and when doing so prior to having been diagnosed with cancer, never really meant much or paid it much attention. I always thought that someone ‘lost’ the battle as many do with a terminal disease and passed on. With the shoe on the other foot and now having cancer, this analogy has brought about a different view on this terminology.

I don’t believe in fighting cancer in the way people describe and how it comes across. They like to say things like, “He’s in the fight of his life” or “He’s in the midst of a major battle to win the fight against cancer.” To ‘fight’ connotes a struggle, to wrestle, disagree, combat, brawl, go to war, come to blows, etc. None of these terms are positive in my mind and only serve to present negative thoughts in and around having a disease that strives to kill its host. Therefore, I prefer to ‘choose’ cancer over it choosing me and work with over fighting it. This might seem like semantics and perhaps so, but I believe a little reverse psychology is what’s needed to work on what those nasty little cells are attempting to do inside one’s body. I’m of the mindset to embrace and live with it opposed to fighting it and thus walk through life viewing it as a struggle. It does not require effort if you break the disease down to its lowest form. It’s in me but it’s a part of who I am and I can live with it, not be at odds against it.

This does not mean that having a good fight in one’s life is a bad thing. I love a good fight. Especially if you’re competing for business or shooting a good round of golf and tackling the course. That’s a good fight to engage in and welcomes the onslaught. But as far as a ‘fight’ for my life because a bug has entered my body doesn’t seem on par.

As I’ve stated, there are many blessings that have come with having cancer. Am I glad I got it and get to live with it? Not particularly, don’t get me wrong. But one in three people in this country are going to ‘get’ cancer in their lifetime. Those are the statistics in today’s health census. The sooner one begins to think in terms of living with opposed to fighting against, the quicker those numbers will change. At least that’s my thesis on the subject. Live life as though you have cancer and perhaps you’ll remain one of the lucky ones who don’t have to find out.

Latest and greatest

2010-01-28T22:38:00.000-08:00

Last week I had my 3 month check. CT, Blood, etc. I'm still amongst the living and intend to be so for at least the next four months as that's the next time Renato wants to see me...that's one extra month than the last interlude so I take that as a good sign.

Renato stressed there are some new drugs on the horizon that are showing some very promising signs with patients in my stage of treatment. I say, let's keep the research coming. The longer I live the better my chances of living longer...another amazingly stupid analogy but hopefully you'll catch my drift.

More to come...mark your calendar for March 17. It'll be a night to remember. If not, I'll refund your money!

Three Trees

2010-01-10T06:23:00.001-08:00

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods.
They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, 'Someday I hope to be a great treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with an intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty.'

Then the second tree said, 'Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take Kings and Queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. People will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull.'

Finally the third tree said, 'I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest Tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill, look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me.'

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, 'This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter, and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.

At the second tree the woodsman said, 'This looks like a strong tree. I will be able to sell it to the shipyard.' The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the men said, ‘I don't need anything special from my tree, I'll take this one,' and he cut it down.

When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for.

The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying Kings had come to an end.

The third tree was cut into large pieces, and left alone in the dark.

The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time.

Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said 'Peace' and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.

Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, God will give you great gifts.

Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined...

We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His Ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

No one makes the journey alone

2009-12-09T16:18:00.000-08:00

A Parable

A Mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package.

"What food might this contain?"

He was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house!; there Is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house".
The pig sympathized but said, "I am so very sorry Mr. Mouse, But there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured that you are in my prayers."

The mouse turned to the cow. She said, "Wow, Mr.. Mouse. I'm sorry for you. But it's no skin off my nose." So the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever.

Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his
hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well. She died; And so many people came for her funeral the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

So next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it doesn't
concern you, remember that when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.

In the book of Genesis, Cain said about Abel his brother to our God: "Am I my brother's keeper?".

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and be willing to make that extra effort to encourage one another.

Nobody makes the journey alone.

No Regrets

2009-12-08T09:31:00.000-08:00

Life is too short to wake up with regrets.
Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe everything happens for a reason.
If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.
If it changes your life, let it.
Nobody said life would be easy.
They just promised it would be worth it.

Learning from those who know

2009-11-22T14:19:00.000-08:00

"The more I learn the less I know."

When you’re a teenager, few if anyone can tell you much. After all, there’s little in this world you don’t know. And fortunately for mankind, this knowledge is passed on from generation to generation as my two teenagers remind me weekly how much I don't 'get it'.

I recall one time when I was the ripe old age of 17 telling my dad, ‘I feel like I’ve really got a good grasp on life and know what’s what.’ He just looked at me and didn’t say a word. Looking back his response was brilliant as there was obviously no words needed at that incredibly stupid moment.

One of my favorite Mark Twain muses is the one where he states, ‘When I was 17, my dad was so dumb I could hardly stand to be in the room with him. And in four years time, I was amazed at how much he’d learned’. This certainly applied to me.

Being a teenager with hormones running a muck, fitting in is about as high on the chart as it gets. And what you wear is imperative to this all important aspect of finding your way. No matter whether its school, after school, weekend, evening, athletic, ski, basketball, etc., what’s on your back, legs and feet is not taken lightly. All must fit and be the latest that everyone else is wearing…no trail blazing here as that would be very very ‘un-cool’.

I had returned from a must shopping spree at the University Book Store and procured a pair of white cotton gym shorts with really cool blue University of Washington logo on the front lower part of the right leg. They were the bomb as all the cool guys in PE had a pair and I was not about to be left on the sidelines waiting to be picked for sides without mine. I even bought a pair of matching blue with white logo. I was cool.

They went straight in the wash to give them that 'non new' look. Then straight to the dryer. I couldn’t wait to pack these babies off to school the next day and rock in PE!

When I returned home from gadding about, my mom was busy doing her afternoon ironing. Hot on the board were MY shorts. I looked in dismay and yelled, ‘What on Earth are YOU Doing?’ Ironing my shorts! As she looked incredulously at me and a bit bewildered, she passed the steaming hot iron across the most sacred of sacred, the blue etched on University of Washington logo. What appeared on the face of those shorts after this quick pass was a blue smear splotch. I went ballistic!

The exact words that escaped my mouth are not known. Just that my rampage was such that it brought my dear mother to tears. I felt a bit raunchy for my outburst and ruining my mother’s day, but not enough to keep the verbal assault abated. I stormed off with ruined shorts in hand and the expectation of next day disappointment hanging over head.

That evening as I came in the family room, my dad was in his casual chair with accustomed Seattle Times opened across his lap. We exchanged some pleasantries and how each others day had been. He then asked what had transpired to upset my mother so much. Being filled with righteous behavior, I began to spew out my take on the disaster that had taken place a few hours earlier. I felt I had made a very good case, so much so that Perry Mason himself would have approved. The only cross examination proffered was a question to how much the shorts cost. I promptly told him, five dollars with a sense of indignant pride.

Once the diatribe concluded, my dad calmly leaned forward in his chair, reached in his back pocket, pulled out his wallet and extracted a crumpled up five dollar bill. In hand, he stretched his arm my way and said, ‘Here son, here’s five dollars. Go upstairs and make your mother cry again, and it’s yours. After all, that’s worth five bucks isn’t it?’

In this moment, I realized that even a brilliant teenager was put to the intellectual test. The feeling of being a complete schmuck permeated my adolescent self with nothing left on the table to say…I was completely outmatched and took my life’s learning punishment with shame.

Living your life every day as though you have cancer will most likely keep moments like this from ever occurring. Perhaps, but maybe not. Being all knowing at such an early age might even get in the way. But let’s hope and pray it doesn’t.

Believing in Miracles

2009-11-20T21:30:00.000-08:00

A few years and a score ago, my family experienced a Christmas as no prior. It was to be the first Christmas without my Grandmother, Opal. My mom’s mom, she was an angel who walked the earth and Christmas wasn’t Christmas without her bigger than life presence amongst the family order.

Throughout my childhood, I could always count on her to BE the holidays. When we walked in her house, the smell of the season permeated the air; evergreen from the freshly cut tree, scented candles, pumpkin & mince pies, gingerbread, roast, biscuits, and the balance of the scents of their warm and friendly manor filled the air. It was the most glorious time of year for a youth with all the dreams of what was to come buzzing around the room and between my ears. One could barely sit still with anticipation and I would trade fifteen circus days for one Christmas at Nanny’s.

I am an extremely fortunate man as the first 25 years of my life, I never experienced a Christmas without her divine presence mingled with all the holiday fixings. None the less my 26th, was not to be the same. We had lost her earlier that year to cancer and now the magical season of the glow and magic was dark and forlorn.

Nanny wasn’t more than five foot nothing and tipped the scale damp a bit over a hundred. Pound for pound, I would put her up against anyone I knew when it came to working manual labor around a house. She was a twister on steroids. My Great uncle used to say, just put a broom in her hand and she’ll be happy. He couldn’t have been more right. The only time she set still during the day was to watch ‘her’ show, General Hospital. Audrey & Steve Hardy we’re the order of the day when three pm struck and no matter what was in the wash or on the counter, it could wait. General Hospital was sacred.

When it came to kids or wildlife, she had no peer when it came to care giving. I recall as a young child visiting Nanny & Bill’s home in Tacoma, them taking in a neighbor girl who was younger than me for the day. She was home with the ‘babysitter’ and had found her way to my grandparents home and be on the receiving end of warm milk and cookies. She then slept for the better part of the afternoon much to my grandparents dismay as the sitter never once sought her out. They were besides themselves and thought the sitter, mother, father, aunt, uncle and whoever else might remotely be in charge, should be incarcerated for neglect.

My grandmother fed the squirrels, Stellar Jays, neighbors animals, and anything else with feathers or fur that happened into the yard. She even had a pet crow for crying out loud. Fed him every day at the same time as you could set your watch by his arrival.

About the only thing that didn’t belong in this world as far as Nanny was concerned was a snake, slug or mouse. Other than that, all was part of Gods and her world and she would do whatever it took to ensure they made it to another day with a full belly.

Getting back to the holiday season and the gingerbread memories, were her special gifts. I’ve told you the aforementioned, but now I’m referring to the ones we unwrapped. There was always something no matter what the year that was so incredibly special, you couldn’t anticipate. It was always perfect and fit with every passing year as a sweater or jacket you had sought out but could never find. It was truly a special gift of hers and I never figured out exactly how she ‘knew’ exactly what would bring the ahh moment when nestled around the tree. It was truly truly a special gift on oh so many fronts.

This Christmas though would be different. There would be no smells, joy and laughter, mince and pumpkin pies, waiting anxiously by the tree for Nanny to finish up the dishes and appear, or that special gift. It was as though the air was completely sucked out of the world and I was completely alone for the first time in my life.

My parents had made other plans this year and were going to be away. My sister lived in California and was staying put. It was unspoken amongst us but it was the loudest din imaginable with a resounding scream of we can’t be together as it would just be too incredibly painful to attempt the unimaginable. A Christmas without Nanny.

To compound matters, I was travelling for work a considerable amount leading up to the holiday break. I recall vividly flying into Seattle the last few days before Christmas looking out the window at the black and lifeless city. It was the most empty feeling I had ever experienced. I prayed the plane would never land as I couldn’t bear the thought of walking in the cold and damp to my empty car and driving home to a listless and holiday free house.

Before leaving Los Angeles, I had the where with all to go to the cash machine and withdraw my Christmas gift money as I had yet to make a single purchase. Again, prolonging the inevitable and avoiding all aspects of the season to its final and unbearable moment. For this one action, I felt good as I knew with all of the emotion stirring, the fewer activities required once I got home, the better.

As I approached my dark and empty house, I stopped at the mail box and gathered a weeks worth of holiday mail. It was stuffed with every imaginable flyer to gobble up the cash I had previously garnered. An absolute mess was strewn upon my the kitchen table as well as the contents from my travel pockets. I went to bed, closed my eyes and pretended the hurt wasn’t real.

The next morning I set out to do my shopping and attempt to put myself in the holiday spirit. It was short lived. I couldn’t find the cash I had procured the day prior to streamline my shopping efforts. I literally tore the house apart looking for it. Under the cushions of every seat, every room, every pocket, the washer, dryer, I even looked in the oven. No cash, it was not to be found. I screamed at the utter top of my lungs in frustration and still, no cash fell from the sky. I was toast and only proved to add insult to injury as I headed out and shortened my list and scaled back.

For the next week I sulked. The only break in the sulking was to rampage the house one more time in a fit of rage trying my dam nest to locate my lost funds. I knew they had to be there somewhere as I didn’t lose things, let alone money and I knew I had it when I walked in the house when I came home from my trip.

I sat in the chair in the living room staring out the window when suddenly I was filled with rage. I leapt from my chair, throwing the cushion against the wall and cursing God at the top of my lungs for being so unjust! How could He not only take the most beautiful person of this world, a living angel, in the most painful and excruciating way but heap the pain and despair upon me at this most sensitive time of year. And on top, not even my special gift…‘I hate YOU God Dammit, I HATE YOU!’ I cried. My rage transcended into sorrow and I wept uncontrollably for what seemed to be forever.

A knock appeared at door and snapped me to consciousness. I walked by the window, looked out and saw a dilapidated Volkswagon Bug in the driveway. It had no front fenders, was two toned (as in primer gray & yellow) and was missing a passenger side window. It was replaced with saran wrap.

When I opened the door, before me stood a young man in his late twenties, unshaven, long dirty blonde hair, holes in his jeans and a long sleeved long underwear undershirt with the sleeves rolled up. I looked at him with disdain as I had no idea what this guy wanted from me but whatever it was, I was certain I wasn’t interested. I barked behind the screen door, “Yes, may I help you?” He looked me straight in the eye with his dark sunken lids, reached in his pocket and pulled out my cash that I had been seeking the past week. He simply stated, “Did you really want to throw this away? I’m your garbage man and I found this in your garbage. I thought you might want it.”

For the most part I was speechless but I did have the wherewithal to offer him a reward for returning it. The nameless person looked at me deeply, smiled and said, “No, my reward is being able to return this to you.” And he walked to his car, started it up, and puttered away. I never saw him again.

The next few hours I spent on my knees begging God for forgiveness. I realized in that time I had so little faith in HIM I was ashamed. I knew better but in my moment of agony forgot all the goodness that I had learned over the years. A true miracle had presented itself and I couldn’t help but believe my grandmother played a huge part in creation and lobbying with God. She had sent me my gift.

Miracles are all around us every day. All we have to do is be open to them and allow them to be recognized. According to the doctors, I’m not supposed to be here writing this story. That’s a miracle in and of itself. Living your life as though you have cancer will open your eyes to such occurrences.

Are you Missing it?

2009-11-19T20:58:00.000-08:00

If you live in the lower 48, I believe there are few things in life as exciting as fresh fallen snow. I remember as a four year old making my way downstairs from our North Seattle home to fetch my dad the morning paper. Upon opening the door that early December day I was surprised beyond words by the precious little tufts of white floating to their final destination.

My immediate reaction being to bolt back up the stairs to tear into my sleeping sisters room and scream at the top of my lungs that it was ‘SNOWING’. She being tired of my pranks and calling wolf, rolled over, pulled her pillow over her head and grunted, ‘Go away, you’re annoying’. In my glee, I continued to prompt an excited response and attempt to motivate her to rise, get dressed, and come see for herself. She continued her abjection to my assertions and stated, ‘There’s no way it’s snowing. It’s way too warm and it wasn’t snowing last night when we went to bed’. Of which I replied, well then I’m not sure exactly what it’s doing but it’s falling from the sky and there’s lots of it…and it’s white! She got up.

Perhaps I’m presumptuous in stating the entire 48 feeling the excitement of snow as those in Buffalo, Minneapolis, Cleveland or Denver, may not share my enthusiasm. But if you’re from and or living in Seattle, snow in the city is a BIG deal. If you’re a skeptic, all one need do is turn on the local news with even the remote prospect snow is on the horizon; you’d think that Jesus himself had sent a press release on his eminent arrival.

When the fallen snow reaches a depth of one inch (or less), you can count on Jim Forman of KING 5 news to be perched at the base of Queen Anne Hill donned in parka, stocking cap, and gloves, sensationalizing the event with his chirping quips, “The best advice is, IF you don’t need to go out…DON’T. Live from lower Queen Anne, I’m Jim Forman’. It’s a joke but it does sell advertising and after all, when it comes to local news, what else is there. I digress.

My point is, Seattleites are forewarned and if we were to receive half of the snow storms the local meteorologists forecast, we’d receive more snow than the North pole. It’s that ridiculous. But as I say, it boosts ratings and thus revenue.

When my kids were seven & eight respectively, we received one of those wonderful winter storms. The conditions were perfect the night before and one could see the dull gray sheet of cloud cover roll in from the west and anyone with any Seattle heritage, knew exactly what was in store. The temperatures were sub freezing and not remotely affected by the warmth the cloud cover many times presents.

With the impending storm, the kids were excited as only kids can be at the prospect of playing in the snow with the bonus of having school cancelled. It doesn’t get much better when you’re single digits and able to maneuver a sled all by yourself.

That night, I got on the computer and sent mail to my employees and informed them to not attempt to make their way to the office. Seattle comes to a complete standstill with even the slightest amount of white on its roads and what would be a normal commute of 20 – 30 minutes can easily turn into a four or five hour affair. With everyone with laptops, it was a no brainer as we could still function without being physically in our collective offices.

The next morning we awakened to a blanket of pure delight; 4 – 5 inches of untracked velvety white stuff. As far as the eye can see.

The kids wolfed down their breakfast while their mother struggled to pull coats, boots, hats and gloves over their excitement. The sense of urgency filled the room and expanded to every corner of the room. Boom, they were out the door with shouts of joy and sleds in hand.

We were fortunate on snow days as we lived at the bottom of a dead-end street with a very short but steep hill at the end of our long setback driveway. It was the perfect run for kids their age as one didn’t need to walk too terribly far or long and still be able to experience an amazingly fast ride. But it was steep and even at a young age, a dozen treks in 5 inches of snow with snow gear and sled in tow up that hill was a meaningful workout.

My wife summoned me out the door that morning to share the experience of all that was good; family, snow, kids, dogs, & the joy that all that brings. I was still in my night clothes and told her I’d be ‘right’ out but wanted to check email first to make sure nothing was on fire.

I found my way into the home office on the opposite side of the house and proceeded to read and respond to several dozen emails that had materialized in my inbox over night. About an hour into it, my wife appeared in the door with snow and sweat and a smile and said, ‘Are you coming? The kids are having a ball and you’re missing a great time.’ I told her I’d be right out and sunk my head back into my screen and keyboard and continued upon my merry way.

Some more time transpired and once again, Jennifer popped her snowclad self in the door. This time a bit more agitated and imploring that I need to get out from behind my computer, get dressed and get outside. Fifteen or so more minutes and I found my way downstairs to sift through the closet full of snow clothes.

Finally I appeared on the scene only to find exhausted, wet, soaked kids with red rosy cheeks. They were done and the snow that had been so pristine had taken on a different sheen. It was beginning to rain and the freshness of the early morning had begun to melt into the afternoon.

As the kids made their way to the house to warm themselves with hot chocolate, my wife looked over her shoulder back at me as she followed the kids in and quietly said, ‘You missed it’. I stood there by myself with the kids sleds in hand while the rain dripped off of my nose.

It brings me great sadness to recount this moment on so many fronts I don’t know where to start. And to chronicle it for posterity sake, only serves to deepen the crevasse I feel in my heart. I champion myself as someone who spends little time contemplating the past as I believe there’s nothing we can do to change it and as such a waste of energy. Regrets, I have few. None the less, this memory has haunted me more times than I care to admit. I remember telling myself, we’ll do it next year, it’ll happen then. Unfortunately, next year didn’t come as the kids were older and the snow didn’t appear. I missed it.

If you were to ask me and offer me a million dollars to recant what was so important to spend the morning sitting in front of my computer in lieu of sledding with my kids, I’d come up empty. Blank, couldn’t tell you. Yet I’ve been able to recount that morning with the sights, smells and memories with the clarity as if it happened this very day. So what does that say? What is important? Pounding out your email or sledding with your kids on a once in a lifetime moment? Hmmm, does it take a PHD in psychology to answer that one.

One realization I can say for certain is if I would have had cancer when it snowed that glorious day with the kids running around my feet, I can without question tell you I would have been amongst them the entire time. No questions asked. No emails returned. No excuses given nor expected.

Are you missing it? If you are, please take a moment and begin living your life as though you have cancer.

Making for an Extraordinary Day!

2009-11-17T05:03:00.000-08:00

My close friend and life / accountability coach (June) and I have started the first of what we expect to be several life experience books. The title for the first has yet to be defined but is focused on identifying the small (and not so small) things that make for an extraordinary day.

Recently I reached out to my extended sphere of influence to ask them five things that would make their day ‘extraordinary’. What an interesting experiment this turned out to be as the answers not only shed an amazing insight from the individuals who responded but the amount of replies neared 80%. Clearly this struck a chord as I’ve not received 80% of anything for so long it’s beyond comprehension.

Before I requested the input, in a stream of consciousness, I wrote out approximately 100 items that I felt would make for an extraordinary day. All were items in my control; giving my kids an extra hug, telling them how much they mean to me, talking to a complete stranger, giving (them) a non solicited compliment, writing a story, getting a facial, sending snail mail to a friend expressing my feelings for them, going to Costco, etc. All was a great exercise and by the way is something I refer to anytime I’m feeling a bit on the dark side of the moon.

Having taken the time to write these self fulfilling prophecies down and give them a sprinkling of meaningful consideration, the next day I set out to see exactly how impactful my thoughts would make for an extraordinary experience. An outing to Costco was eminent as I was need of several household necessities that only Costco has been able to satisfy for the past several years. Off I went. And as I stated on my list, a visit to Costco makes for an extraordinary day. Call me simple (and maybe a bit sick) but I must say, I love the experience as it’s my favorite place on the planet to shop. And I’m not a shopper!

As I was strolling the aisles, I was very cognizant of all the people, sights and sounds around me. More than I can ever recall. I was on the lookout for people to talk to, see new items on the shelf, find something pleasant to observe, say hello, or just give a passerby a warm and hearty smile from a happy and content fellow Costco shopper. I filled my cart with the provisions I sought as well as a few items I absolutely didn’t need (this felt really good and Costco loves these shoppers).

When it came time to check-out, I decided to get into the line that was the longest / people with the most ‘stuff’ in their cart. That way I figured I would prolong the experience of having an extraordinary day. As I approached the counter, I noticed the young woman behind the register wearing matching eye shadow to compliment her pink and white striped blouse. You could tell this was part of her routine and was an obvious aspect in her day in which she took great pride; the pink blending perfectly into the white and vice versa.

I complimented her on her eye shadow and how she was so perfectly color coordinated. This simple gesture absolutely lit her up like a Christmas tree from ear to ear (as well as the lady who was working side by side ‘boxing’ up the goods). The latter stated, ‘She’s always like that; everyday she coordinates. Look @ her shoes!’ They both beamed and the checker told me ‘YOU JUST MADE MY DAY’ and ‘Could I come through her check stand every day and asked if I’d be back tomorrow?’

Imagine that, eye shadow! Is it really that easy to make your day ‘extraordinary’?

Next on my agenda, it was prime time for a facial. Again, for me, one makes for a day extraordinaire. I strutted off to my favorite pedicure spot in my immediate locale and decided I’d give them a shot at a facial. This was a first on that front as the shop is designed primarily for nails (but does advertise the additional spa services).

The shop is worked entirely by women; mostly Philippine & Vietnamese. All in their 20's and early 30's, work 10 - 12 hour days 6 days a week. And I mean WORK. One client after another mostly doing nails and pedicure's. And of course they have to commute an hour or so each way as they cannot afford to live close in.

The girl who gave me my facial didn't know tips from toes let alone a face. She happens to be crippled (my guess polio). She's very sweet, does her utmost best, but as I say, wouldn’t know a professional facial if it reached up and bit her in the ass. Because of her handicap she has to exert more effort than the others as its very hard for her to maneuver between the tables, chairs and the nail carts dragging her non working leg. It’s always nice to see the others pitch in wherever possible to help her in a tight space. This is a subconscious act from all participants with never a spoken word or sign of contempt.

As I laid there uncomfortably having facial massacre, I made the conscientious decision to focus on her doing her level headed best to ensure an enjoyable experience and NOT on her inability to perform the job. She asked several times throughout my comfort zone and what if anything more she might do to make it so. Bless her heart, she wanted so much to make the experience pleasurable.

Had I continued to focus on her ineptitude, I am certain I would resort myself to having a miserable time and left completely irritated and dissatisfied. But shifting my focus to one of 'let it go' and 'let it be what it is' really opened some doors for me. After all, what could I do @ this point? Get up, walk out, yell, criticize her, and refuse to pay? Yes, I could have chosen any of those alternatives. But in my moment of choice, I asked myself, will any of those options make for an extraordinary day? The resounding answer was I highly doubt it. It certainly wouldn't have made hers.

When she finished, she smiled broadly and asked me 3 questions; did I like the foot massage; did I like the warm hand wrap; did I like the way she massaged under my neck? The answer being a resounding 'YES' as I DID like all those aspects of the hour long treatment. After all, who wouldn't? Having a young, warm, friendly Asian woman rubbing your feet, hands and neck with warm oil doesn't get much better does it? She in fact had made my day ‘extraordinary’.

Life is about choices. We either choose to enjoy it or we choose to complain about it. As I say, had I chose the latter, my day would not have been extraordinary. Shifting my internal focus made it so. With the help of those around me, my eyes have been open to living an extraordinary life every day.

November 2nd post

2009-11-07T16:04:00.000-08:00

I saw my ONCOLOGIST today for my tri-monthly checkup.

Per usual they took blood; looked good (no red-lines); took a chest X-ray and nothing new showed there; and had a long chat about having cancer @ this point in the process. All in all went pretty well. He prescribed an antibiotic to take for the next 7 days for my cold (and stated in the future to just call and they'll prescribe over the phone - he had to cover his entire body with a gown, face shield and gloves to see me - I also was sequestered from the rest of the cancer populace while @ SCCA because of my sniffles / cough; with a mask on - they really don't mess around).

I asked him about any new treatments on the horizon and he was fairly tight-lipped. I asked him about supplements and he said, sure, whatever you want, go for it (with a look of you're wasting your time/$ shone through his eye shield). I asked him about joining a cancer survivor group and he said, 'No' (they had pamphlets on the counter for this through Fred Hutchinson). I asked why and he said he doesn't want me hanging around other cancer patients (thinks they'd bring too much cancer reality to the situation). I told him I am using a life coach these days...he asked 'What's that?' So I told him. He thinks its great. He also wants me to up my Prozac by an extra pill / day. But he stated, he can't tell me that the cancer is not active in my body, just that he can't see it.

As I've stated in the past, I really like this guy. We covered lots of ground today and for the most part he pulls no punches. We went over my X-ray and my last CT in detail. He pointed out the entire thing and explained all that's going on and compared the two. He holds his cards tight to his chest however and really only gives me information that he wants me to have. As in he holds back the full story, I can tell. He does say, the longer I stay cancer free, the better my long term prognosis. That sounds like a 'DUH' statement but what he's saying is, the first 6 months following treatment is the most critical; the next 6 months less so and so on and so forth. It seems they work in 6 month increments for whatever reason. In case anyone lost track, I'm @ month 14. My next scheduled appointment is in January and they'll do another full blown CT.

As a part of our conversation, we got on the topic about death. Renato got somewhat philosophical and shared the history of the worlds philosophers view on existentialism and the contemplation of death and beyond. I told him I wasn't afraid of dying. He didn't believe me and stated, "Everyone is afraid to die." I told him I guess I'm not everyone as I really do not fear dying. After all, we're all going to 'die' sometime and it's up to God to decide when and how. He went on to say what if this is IT and there isn't anything else (thus the fear). If that's the case, then this is IT and we're all going to be in IT. However, I stated to him in no uncertain terms my belief in God and Jesus as our Savior. I'm very comfortable with my frame of mind around God and our Savior and left it as such with him to ponder. He didn't want to go past the what if this is IT and living in a state of being afraid of what if this is IT.

Once again, I want to point out that I believe having cancer has helped me tremendously in my state of mind. Mind you, I'm saying I'm grateful to have cancer and if it were up to me, would never had entered my body. However, I do look at it as a blessing and know that it's God's will and His will be done. That I am very comfortable with and accept in this life as such.

Live Life as Though You Have Cancer

2009-09-24T12:13:00.000-07:00

As I stated in the previous post, it's been a year since going through the hellish experience of cancer treatment. At the end of it, I had coffee with a long time friend. She was on vacation at the time and was going over all the wonderful things she had done in the past couple of weeks and changes she had made in her life. Mainly, taking more time for herself and less on her job.

After our meeting, I headed straight to the Canal for an extended weekend of clam digging and such and on the way down, I wrote a blog entry in my head. I titled it, 'Live Life as Though You Have Cancer'. I put it to paper but after reading and rereading, I didn't feel like I captured the essence of what I wanted to say. So I shelved it, thinking I'd get back to it and make it, 'right'. Then I'd make the post...

Well, that was a year ago and I still haven't made it 'right'. So I'm going to publish it now in it's original form. It's funny, after a year has gone by it seems to be more 'right' than it was when written. Go figure. Anyway, here it is.

Live Life as Though You Have Cancer

If you found out today you had cancer, imagine how your life would change. Step back for just a moment and contemplate the unimaginable. You are now at the beginning of a new and unchartered journey. How would your life change? Would you begin to analyze your mortality in a more urgent sense? Would things that used to seem important, become less so? Would things that seem very important take on a much greater sense of urgency?

My guess is your view of life changes. You now live far more in the now and the immediacy of it. You might view life not so much of this world but more from an eternal perspective. When you see friends and spend time with them, you can’t help but think this may be the last time you see them in this world. What used to cause anxiety in your life, is merely a mosquito buzzing about the room. Imagine not living your life in fear for tomorrow, but alive today. Remember how there was always tomorrow and how you made life harder than need be by worrying about things of this world from the realm of what if, what might be, what might happen; opposed to what is and what’s possible.

I’m sure you’ve been asked the question at some time in your life, “What would you do if you had but one day to live?” Be honest, what is your answer? Would you change anything? Would the world look different? Would you pick up the phone and tell a long lost friend or loved one something you’ve been meaning to say? Would you run to your kids room and throw your arms around them and tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you? Your parents? Siblings? Would you be a different person? Would you treat people differently? Be honest.

Give this some deep and meaningful thought. Not from a negative or sadness point of view, but from a position of walking in cancers shoes. Let the situation sink in and think hard and deep about how your life would change.

Cancer has been a blessing for me in many ways in which I’ve described. It is not a curse nor a death sentence. It’s a window to living. A very clear and fog free window on this world we live in. And a daily reminder of just how short this trip we’re on is.

I’ve come to the understanding that death and the possibility of such is easy. It’s living in this life that is hard. Really hard. And I want to challenge everyone who cares to listen to really live. And to live for today, not tomorrow. Not in the seats as a spectator but on the stage as the principal in a play.

So imagine you have cancer and choose to live life as such. You might be amazed at the possibilities that open up when you live your life from this point of view.

It's been a year!

2009-09-24T11:29:00.000-07:00

How quickly a year passes. Truly amazing and as we grow older, each year appears to be passing more quickly than the last. That said, it's been a year almost to the day that I completed my chemo / radiation treatment at SCCA. Much has transpired and for the most part, all has been good.

My last tri-monthly appointment this month with Dr. Martins was consistent. Again, he popped into the room brimming ear to ear with a smile stating, 'The CT looks good; lymph's, mass no larger (only scar tissue), and the radiologist was having a very, very good day'. He then read the report verbatim and yes, the radiologist was having a good day. You could hear it through the Dr. speak and terminology.

Back to the year and all that has transpired. When I completed my treatment, I was left with the information from my surgeon that I had approximately a year to live. That was from my appointment with him in July following the surgery. So, a little quick math will tell you nine months give or take. And in that time, what would my condition be like. You've probably seen the pictures and / or known someone you've seen deteriorate with cancer and what their condition looks like. Would I be able to function, would I be bedridden, hospice,walk, on oxygen, pills, shots, more hospitalization, move, function, etc. All ever present thoughts.

I set an objective and number one was, get as close to my kids, family and friends as possible. For my kids, I wanted to be with them in the time I have and enjoy each others company to the fullest. I felt that it would be much better to leave them (if in fact I was to leave this world) with memories in lieu of inheritance. So I started booking trips with them one on one in order to connect solely with each other with new, memorable and interesting experiences.

First, Riley and I headed off to Hawaii to swim with the dolphins. The latter didn't appear when we set out to be amongst them but he and I made up for it in many other ways. Next, Emily and I headed to NYC & WDC. We had a blast and it was great being in those two cities over the Thanksgiving holiday time frame.

During the holiday season, I travelled to Los Angeles to be with my folks, sister/brother in law, and several past friends from my days in LA. We got my folks settled into a great assisted care living situation and although my dad was in the hospital much of this time, it was great being there and being close, in a way that I can only describe as uplifting. It was special in all senses of the word.

When my dad was home from the hospital, I stayed @ my folks place and he and I shared his bed a couple of nights. To wake in the morning and be able to reach over and put my arm around him and give him a hug, was truly something special. I was still his little boy and he my dad at the ripe old age of 52 and 83 respectively.

I travelled back and forth between Seattle, LA & San Fran for much of the remainder of the winter and spring to be with my folks, sister and friends as much as possible all the while staying connected with my kids at home. I even made my way to Hong Kong as well as a cruise out of Seattle to Alaska (two things I had never done; go on a cruise and go to Alaska). I have now been in all 50 states (many on multiple occasions) and I feel very good about that accomplishment.

Once summer arrived, it was time to head off with the kids again and be with them as much as possible. Riley and I went to Alaska to go fishing and Emily & I went to San Francisco for shopping and then returned to Hawaii to lounge amongst the surfers and the waves. We also made trips to Hood Canal on several weekends for geoducks and clams between their respective camps.

At the end of the day (or year if you will), it was packed full of memories. One of many experiences, encounters, new places and things to see. But most of all connecting the dots with the one thing that matters most in life, the friends and family we have around us. Objective accomplished.

I am extremely grateful to be so blessed with the people in my life, the time to share it with them, and even in my hampered state, the wherewith all to do so. I have constant reminders of life's short ride and the balancing act we must go through in living it to its fullest. I would be a liar if I told you that with all of the joy and gratitude I experienced this past year, I did not have my challenging days. They are ever present but I find them to be reminders that help me live even more. However, it's something that I stress over more than I care to admit.

I recently re-connected with a close friend of 20 years who leaves each conversation or email with, 'Make today extraordinary'. It doesn't require something big to accomplish that. Sometimes its the little things ...

Much love,

Randy

The Sparrow...a film about perspective

2009-08-12T18:16:00.000-07:00

Growing Corn

2009-08-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

Growing Good Corn

There once was a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon.

One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbors.
"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbors when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.

"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbors grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbors grow good corn."

He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbor's corn also improves.

So it is with our lives. Those who choose to live in peace must help their neighbors to live in peace. Those who choose to live well must help others to live well, for the value of a life is measured by the lives it touches. And those who choose to be happy must help others to find happiness, for the welfare of each is bound up with the welfare of all.

The lesson for each of us is this: if we are to grow good corn, we must help our neighbors grow good corn.

It is possible to give away and become richer! It is also possible to hold on too tightly and lose everything. Yes, the liberal man shall be rich! By watering others, he waters himself.

- From the Bible,Proverbs 11:24-25

The best fathers day gift ever!

2009-06-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

Riley gave me the best fathers day gift ever! Here's 53 reasons why it was...

53 reasons why I love my Dad

My Dad has always been there for me.
My Dad always has an answer.
He always knows just what to say.
He’s the best businessman I’ll ever know.
He always has a new fart for me to hear.
He taught me how to go clamming.
He showed me no one can win a fight against Austin.
He always takes me to see good movies.
I never go hungry at his house.
He always can make me laugh.
He makes the best clam chowder.
He always makes things workout.
He always knows best.
He always keeps me safe.
He has the most interesting stories.
He always makes me feel loved.
He taught me to treat guests with more respect.
He always is there to smell my stinkiest of farts.
He taught me to always brush my teeth.
He taught me to always dress nice for important people or for an important thing.
He always encourages me.
He never puts me down or makes me feel embarrassed.
He taught me to be who I am.
He’s an amazing person.
He help’s me with my homework when I need help.
He taught me how to ski.
He taught me how to play basketball.
He taught me to always have manners.
He taught me how to make the best out of things.
He corrects me when I say something wrong.
He showed me how to make the best out of boring situations.
He gets me to talk at parties.
He always knows when I want to leave.
He told me I am just as important as everyone else but, to him I’m the most important.
He taught me never to lie because it always makes things worse.
He showed me never to be judgmental until you get to know the person.
He showed me a yard is the most important thing at a house.
He always try’s his hardest to do what is right.
He taught me to fight for what I believe in.
He taught me how to forgive.
He taught me how to love and be thankful.
He showed me how to have patience.
He showed me how to yell at something that can’t hear you.
He’s the best Dad.
He’s always going to back me up.
He’s my best friend.
He told me that he will never stop loving me and I will never stop loving him.
He showed me that ladies are first.
He’s the best dad anybody could have asked for.
He showed me that being around wealthy people will give you goals.
He taught me how to always have friendship.
He’s the best salesman and negotiator I know.
He’s the strongest person I know considering he’s fighting lung cancer and I know he is going to make it, and that no matter when he dies he’ll still love me.

Happy Fathers Day I Love You Dad,

Love, Riley

45 tips worth reading

2009-06-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio

To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23 . Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Laughter

2009-04-28T20:11:00.000-07:00

Laughter
What is laughter? What is laughter?
It is God waking up!
O it is God waking up!

It is the sun poking its sweet head out
From behind a cloud
You have been carrying too long,
Veiling your eyes and heart.

It is Light breaking ground for a great
Structure
That is your
Real body - called Truth.
It is happiness applauding itself and then taking flight
To embrace everyone and everything in this world.

Laughter is the polestar
Held in the sky by our Beloved,
Who eternally says,
"Yes, dear ones, come this way,
Come this way towards Me and Love!

Come with your tender mouths moving
And your beautiful tongues conducting songs
And with your movements - your magic movements
Of hands and feet and glands and cells - Dancing!

Know that to God's Eye,
All movement is a Wondrous Language,
And Music - such exquisite, wild Music!"
O what is laughter, Hafiz?
What is this precious love and laughter
Budding in our hearts?
It is the glorious sound
Of a soul waking up!

~ Hafiz ~

Enjoy the Ride .. I love this!

2009-04-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

ENJOY THE RIDE

http://www.lshs64.com/enjoytheride.html

From St James

2009-03-17T13:07:00.000-07:00

I rec'd this prayer from my good friend James...here it is for all to enjoy.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
when there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
Grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying [to ourselves] that we are born to eternal life

Random Thoughts

2009-03-15T18:26:00.000-07:00

Yes, indeed it's been a long time since I checked out your blog site, Randy, and I'm glad I finally did. Lots of great news about your health.

Steve and I really enjoyed seeing you the last 2 times you've been down, especially since you got to meet cousin Darren from Perth, Australia last time. We look forward to your next visit and are so glad that you're able to spend more time down here with us and Mom and Dad. I know how much they look forward to your visits, too.

We keep you in our prayers all the time and are glad to hear that everyone's prayers continue to be answered so positively. Keep up the great attitude--that's a true tonic in itself!

I love you and am so blessed to have you for a brother. I still owe you a birthday gift, too. Next time you are down I hope to have it for you.

love,

Carol

March 11 update

2009-03-11T13:42:00.000-07:00

Hello blogsite visitors -

I just got a continued clean bill of health from my oncologist today. I am scheduled go back in two months to have my next CT Scan and see what's what .;. but now, all cool and groovy.

I've been in LA for the past month. I rented a place (bungalow) off of Cahuenga blvd. below the Hollywood sign. It sure was nice to be in warm weather and receive daily doses of sunshine. I came home to Seattle this week to snow and 25 degrees for crying out loud. Geez Louise!

So what's next you ask...At the end of the month I'm off to Hong Kong to be with some clients and watch the HK7 rugby matches. When I return, I'm heading to Canada to ski with the kids during their spring break. I'll then head back to LA for the better part of a month and be with my folks/sister/brother in law. First of May I'm going to London to see some good friends and say hi to the Queen again. At the end of May, to Alaska and cruise up the inland passage. Something I've always wanted to do and complete my visit to all 50 states. S

Needless to say, I'm keeping myself on the go through all of this and it's good. I'm really enjoying my life right now and following my doctors directive. He told me being happy and relaxed is better than any pill he can prescribe. I'm out to prove him right. Even though the pills he prescribes put a smile on ones face as well.

Ta Ta,

Randy

Latest & Greatest

2009-02-23T15:15:00.000-08:00

I am pleased to announce the recent finding on my latest CT Scan which occurred earlier this month. Dr. Martin's entered the clinic room grinning ear to ear following reading the radiologist report. I quote, 'Tumor shrunk, lymphs quiet, & inflamation from the radiation therapy improving'.

All in all, a clean bill of health at this juncture. I will continue to be screened every other month and of course if anything goes array in the meantime, I'll make a surprise visit. But for the time being, I'm pleased to be able to make the report that I am. The cough still persists but not at the level it's been...so it makes for a good barometer @ this point. I've even been walking a few miles each day whilest I'm in the southland visiting my folks.

After leaving the doctor appointment, I had a chance to really think about Dr. Martin's joy in delivering the latest findings. With all the patients he treats for lung, throat & brain cancer, I can only imagine the meetings that he doesn't get to deliver such good news. When he does have pleasantries to share, I'm sure it makes his day close to the level of the recipient(s). None the less, it was nice to see him and share the joy.

All for now and keep the prayers and blessings coming. They work.

Gratefulness

2009-01-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

I wanted to tell everyone that I am so grateful to have you in my life.

I pray you all have a blessed day. It wasn't difficult for me to decide who I present this to because many people claim to pray, but not everyone does. So I put it out for all who care to read.

May everyone who receives this message be blessed.

There are 12 months, 12 disciples, 12 tribes of Israel; Jesus ' birth is celebrated in the 12th month. Maybe this should be find there way to twelve others.

Prayer is the best free gift we have. There is no cost, just reward. Make sure you pray, and pray believing God will answer. May today be all you need it to be. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight, and conquer all your fears. May God manifest himself today in ways you have never experienced. May your joys be fulfilled, your dreams be closer, and your prayers be answered.

I pray faith enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged. I pray for peace, healing, health, happiness, prosperity, joy, true and undying love for God. God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.

I look forward to receiving your prayer and love as I give freely to you.

Randy

Ring in the New Year!

2009-01-03T17:35:00.000-08:00

Ring Out, Wild Bells

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light;
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind,
For those that here we see no more,
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes,
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease,
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkenss of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

-- Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Words of Wisdom

2009-01-03T10:53:00.000-08:00

Some words of wisdom from some wise old sages...

http://www.wisdombook.org/

Latest and greatest

2008-11-14T12:01:00.000-08:00

Wow, hard to believe it's been almost two months since I've added anything to the blog. No real reason other than I was waiting to hear how things look since I did my 8 weeks of chemo / radiation. Kind of in limbo land if you know what I mean. It's a weird place to be and one I've got little experience with.

Last week I had my CT Scan and subsequent meeting with my oncologist Dr. Martins (btw, no relation to the shoes). In a line, he stated I came through as good as they could have hoped for. My blood work came out very well with healthy platelets and white blood cell count back to normal.

The Lymphs are completely relaxed - " not hot"- and no disease noted there - the best we could hope for. All in all, it appears the radiation and chemo did what it was suppose to do.

The original mass is about the same size as at diagnosis; it has not grown since March and possibly shrunk some. The doctor noted that it is possible it is just scar tissue at this time. They will not do a biopsy on it. He contined to say, "I need to see you every two month for the next two years to keep an eye on things".

No further meds called for at this time.

One thing I found out is that due to the radiation treatment, my lower left lung is fried...as in non functional and never will be again. The doctor gave me a number (not sure what it meant) but he said my lung could withstand up to 20 and they gave me 60. Thus, no more lower lung. But that what is required to kill the tumor via radiation.

As I started to say in the beginning, much has transpired in the past couuple of months and it is an emotional thing and sometimes I'm not able/willing to talk or write about it freely - too many questions and too many things to remember. I know you are all concerned and I have rec'd many inquiries and letters of love from so many its still hard to fathom. I do attribute my success to date to the number of prayers I've rec'd from around the world. Please keep it up as I need it daily.

The last thing the doctor told me before we parted was to 'Live your life'. That I intend to do.

It was as good a meeting/appointment as I could have hoped for. Keep up the prayers and God bless you all.

Much love,

Randy

The Human Touch

2008-09-16T09:03:00.000-07:00

As I went through my eight week treatment, another helpful aspect of enduring treatment was seeking out the human touch. I believe heartily in the human touch as a natural healing property and making sure I received an adequate amount of this was paramount to getting through the treatment and the subsequent side effects.

Now, I can hear the groans and guffaws in the background when you read 'the human touch'. So for clarification sake, I'm going on record that this was all professional in nature and one that would not include any Vice Squad interference.

The human touch is defined by massage therapy, facials, pedicures, manicures, and the such. I made sure I had at least one of these treatments every single week of the treatment. And in most weeks I doubled or tripled up on this wonderful part of the eight weeks. I found it to be a definite help and a break from the action of going to the hospital every day. And if truth be known, the massages were the very best and I believe the most healing.

On the subject of healing and human touch, I recall a study I read in Scientific America some years ago. It took place @ a University library and was conducted on multiple occasions to ensure the outcome they received was consistent throughout the process.

The study was a simple one. It consisted of a checkout person and an interviewer. The checkout person was first asked to check out books and under no circumstance whatsoever touch the person who was checking them out. The person checking out was then interviewed as they left the library and asked, "How was your visit to the library today?" In more than 90% of the cases where the person was not touched, the reply of, "Nothing special" or there abouts was proffered as the answer.

Next, the opposite was administered. The checkout person had to make physical contact with a touch to the hand or arm as the person with the books was exiting the check out area. Same question ensued, "How was your visit to the library today?" This time in over 90% of the cases, the reply was along the lines of, "It was nice, special, good experience, etc."

As mentioned, the research team administered this form of test over and over and each time came back with similar and consistent results. The human touch made a positive difference on the simplest of undertakings.

I for one firmly believe in the human touch and the power of it's healing capabilities. Try it sometime with loved ones, friends, strangers, co workers, etc. Touch someone and see if it brightens up their day. I believe you'll be amazed by the result.

Randy

A poem from a dear friend Anne

2008-09-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

The Lines on My Face

To his grandson, the old man said,

The wrinkles on my face

Are a treasure map to my wealth.

Revealing a life rich in experience

Accompanied by good health.

In these lines you see where I’ve

Laughed and cried.

Moments that seemed fleeting

Have instead made a permanent mark.

Right where all can see, especially me,

In the mirror and in my memory.

Some think being rich has to do with a bank account,

But now that I’ve made it here,

I realize what has made my life dear.

It is the deposits of love made by family and friends

Into this bank I call my heart.

It's knowing that I’ve mattered

That has sustained me from the start.

So even if I look old and feeble,

And perhaps not much of a sight to see,

Never see me and feel pity,

You should be so lucky.

To have lived a life

Through both joy and strife

Graced by loved ones

Willing to share and see things through.

Their value has appreciated with age

The way all things with value do.

So here I sit, old and wealthy,

Content in these years.

And if you see past the lines on my face,

You’ll see a treasure of happiness in their place.

Mary F. Van der Linden

The final stretch - a blessing

2008-09-09T07:25:00.000-07:00

This week marks the eighth and final week of treatment which can be described as nothing other than a marathon of chemo & radiation therapy. All in all it has gone well and the time has passed without any big incident; albeit the side effects have been somewhat less than a walk through the park on a summer day. As such, I've been dark on the blog during the past several weeks as I haven't had too many positive things to say about the experience. I felt it best to put some time between me and it before chronicling.

One key ingredient during this tenuous time which helped me immensely is the time spent with friends. I made a concerted effort to have lunch/dinner, go for a walk, take in a museum, the market, tea, etc. each day of treatment with good friends. My good friend Danielle even came to town for a few days and her wonderful company accompanied by her epicurean delights were blissful.

This time spent with close friends was a true blessing and reminds me again how fortunate I am to have the people in my life that I do. It's very special indeed!

Another element which helped get through this treatment was meditation. I found that by meditating on my multitude of blessings, it guided me daily with a positive agenda thus creating less focus on the negative aspects of what my body was feeling and going through.

Top on my blessing list was my parents. I meditated over and over on how much they mean to me and how incredible they have been for me over the years and helped form the very fabric of who I am as a person. I prayed to God thanking him that they are who they are and how fortunate I am to have them as the key and guiding light through my journey on earth.

During one of my meditative prayers, God spoke to me that I was able to pick my folks in heaven before I came to live on earth. He stated that I had many to pick from and to pick well as they would be the only parents I'll ever have. I was not given a window on the future, only to look at them as humans and how they act and are as people on earth. They would be my decision to pick, not the other way around. So depending upon the life I wanted to lead on earth would depend a lot about how I made this decision.

Needless to say, this was a true revelation and one that became dogma throughout my meditation's. It opened all kinds of thoughts and self observations and ultimately put more accountability on me as to who I am and how I have lived my life; one without blame or self criticism. It was truly a BLESSING to come to this realization and one I doubt I would have ever come to had I not gone through several weeks of hell.

I highly recommend taking a moment from your day and meditate upon your blessings. You may be pleasantly surprised what comes before you. I know I was.

Wishing you many blessings in your world,

Randy

The David returns to Italy from US Tour

2008-08-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

After a two year visit to the United States, Michelangelo's David is returning to Italy . . .

The Proud Sponsors of the US Tour were:

McDonalds

Burger King

Dairy Queen

KFC

STONE & SAND

2008-08-18T09:56:00.000-07:00

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT. DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT,

BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING, WROTE IN THE SAND,

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE .

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,

WHERE THEY DECIDED TO TAKE A BATH.

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING, BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM THE NEAR DROWNING, HE WROTE ON A STONE:

'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE'.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM,

'AFTER I HURT YOU, YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW, YOU WRITE ON A STONE. WHY?

'THE FRIEND REPLIED'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US, WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE WHERE NO WIND CAN EVER ERASE IT.

'LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

IT'S SAID IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,
AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THEN ,
AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

SEND THIS TO THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER FORGET.
I JUST DID.

IF YOU DON'T SHARE THIS WITH ANYONE,

IT MEANS YOU'RE IN A HURRY AND THAT YOU'VE FORGOTTEN YOUR FRIENDS.

TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE! DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE,

BUT VALUE WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK, THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE

'Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.'

Hair line rising

2008-08-17T19:31:00.001-07:00

Well, it's begun to happen...yes, my hair is falling off my head like snow flakes on a January ski slope. At the current rate, I should be completely bald by Wednesday as it's coming out in clumps rather than individual hairs when I run a comb through it.

I haven't seen my scalp since I was a little boy so it'll be interesting to see how many bumps I've accrued over the years...perhaps there's a hidden tattoo or something under the mop. We'll soon all see.

I spent the past weekend with Brad, Autie, & Riley @ the Canal. We had a blast. George Van Boeven & Jim Hill joined in the festivities as well. We ate an amazing fish stew of fresh salmon, clams, geoduck and a ton of veggies all brewed in a clam nectar stock...it was to die for. Just gotta love what the Sound proffers up in the way of seafood dinners.

All for now...film @ 11 of my new doo!

Randy

Letter of Love from Bel

2008-08-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

Randy,

Hello my friend. How are you feeling? We have your blog up and read your updates all the time. I sent you a long letter about a month 1/2 ago but figured life was a bit on the "focused" road so didn't follow up. Did u ever get it? We sent love, happiness, strength, and gardens wrapped in a soft blue sky and tied with sunshine. It sounds like you are in Kirkland somewhere.

We would love to visit or just write e-mails if that works for you. You have a wonderful family, your children are getting so big and your friends are your healing helpers. You don't leave our thoughts very often and cause pause for great reflection with your daring and dashing attitude...a true warrior you are.

I feel a special connection with you...depth and ever evolving spirit, the gardens...perhaps we should write a book...Gardens of your Soul. It could be about the evolution of life or perhaps just watching the flower grow as we watch our children and ourselves. I hope the kimo isn't taking all of your energy...with much love and Gods healing hand.

Love, Charlie, Jordan, and Bel' ps...picture attached is Jordan a princess at Halloween...

For those of you who don't know Bel & family, I purchased the Grapeview house from them in'05. Bel is the most amazing gardener I've ever had the pleasure of meeting and getting to know. Chuck does all the heavy lifting...and of course Jordan is their wonderful and beautiful (not so little anymore) girl. She was 4 when I met her for the first time...as you can see, she is all the things Bel mentioned above that she sent my way...

Clearing the air about lung cancer - article

2008-08-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

Clearing the Air: Group fights lung cancer stigma
By JEAN ENERSEN / KING 5 News

When 44-year-old Dana Reeve sang Madison Square Garden earlier this year, she showed no sign she was battling lung cancer. Two months later she died.
Dana's death becomes a dramatic reminder that lung cancer strikes even non-smokers.
In an emotional broadcast in April 2005, longtime ABC News anchor Peter Jennings revealed that he was ill. Four months later Jennings died at home. His passing put a temporary spotlight on the country's most stigmatized and lethal cancer.
Even in Washington, where the number of smokers has dropped and cigarettes are banned from public places, lung cancer is the number-one cancer killer. Often overshadowed by pink ribbons and yellow wrist bands, the cancer has few advocates.

KING
Peter Jennings died four months after announcing his illness.
“There just aren't many of us around,” said one patient. “Since I’ve been in the group we've lost five people. And you can't keep enough people in the group… this is really unusual because the group is usually pretty small.”
As the only lung cancer support group in Washington, smokers and non-smokers talk freely at Northwest Hospital and Medical Center. Just compare cancer deaths and you see how lung cancer out numbers them all. There are a couple of reasons for that.
Medical specialists like doctors Renato Martins and Douglas Wood of the University and Seattle Cancer Care Alliance say diagnosing lung cancer early can be difficult because symptoms show up so late.
“The symptoms depend a lot on where a lung cancer is -- a lung cancer that's near the central part of the lung may produce pneumonia, with cough,” said Dr. Wood. “On the other hand, a tumor on the outside part of the lung that is growing and starting to invade the chest wall , the ribs will produce pain.”
Video
Fighting the lung cancer stigma
It takes the average smoker eight attempts before they can quit. This is the first day of a quit smoking class for Fred, Rich and John.
Kicking the habit is the number one way for anyone to prevent lung cancer. But, there are no guarantees. Just ask Cecilia Izzo, who was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and now has difficulty talking and walking.
“I have a joke with friends,” she said. “I tell them I’d love to go for a walk with them but I can't walk and talk…It is tough because I have just the one lung.”
She smoked a little as a teenager, but that was it.
“I smoked as teenager, I wanted to be cool, I was never a heavy smoker, so I don't know why,” she said.
She was also raised in a family of smokers,
“I have give siblings that are alive and everyone of them smokes cigarettes, which is the irony of this,” she said. “I am the one that preached for years: exercise, eat right and don't smoke. And I have these five siblings who continue smoking and they’re fine, not to say they won't be, they may very well have lung cancer in a few years because it has been shown that can happen.”
Three years ago , while living in another state, Cecilia suffered excruciating pain in her right shoulder. It came as quickly as it went. It was a right upper lobe cancerous mass that went undiagnosed for seven months,

KING
Cecilia Izzo was raised in a family of smokers.
When surgeons finally found her mass and went to remove it, they took much more than anyone expected.
“So I woke up to find out it wasn't just the mass, it was the entire lung,” Cecilia said.
Months of chemotherapy came next, then a move to Seattle. Cecilia now cherishes every moment with her family and she doesn’t let two teenage daughters or a missing lung slow her down.
But, look at her x-rays and you can see the ghostly, empty gap in her chest and the irregular curve of her trachea.
“So when I breathe, it doesn’t go straight up…you know when wind goes around the corner and you get that wheezing and that high pitched sound?," she said. "That's what happening to me, because sometimes I hear this sound and I think it’s the trees and it’s me breathing.”
Although she sometimes struggles to speak, it doesn't stop her from speaking out about lung cancer. She's the one who started the one-of-a-kind support group
“I always felt I needed a lung cancer specific group because whenever anyone would hear I had lung cancer, the first thing they'd say was: ‘Were you a smoker?,’” she said.
“So what if somebody did smoke and they quit 20 years ago ? Should they still be punished. If somebody tells me they have cervical cancer, the first thing I say to them is not ‘What sort of sexually transmitted disease do you have?’ You just don't do that. Lung cancer seems to be fair game for people.’”

Lung Cancer Awareness Month

2008-08-11T18:44:00.001-07:00

Hi all,

I wanted to make you aware that November is Lung Cancer Awareness Month (LCAM). This is a national campaign dedicated to increasing attention to lung cancer issues. By organizing rallies, distributing educational material, holding fund-raising events, contacting Congress, and speaking to the media, those involved in LCAM bring much-needed support and attention to a disease that each year kills more people than breast, prostate, colon and pancreas cancers combined.

So you know, I'm in the planning stages of hosting a major event in Seattle to support the research for a cure for this deadly disease. Details to follow but I'd like you to put an X in your calendar for that month as IT will happen for sure. I have the scope of my plan and will share once I begin to fill in the blanks. But whether you are near or far, I am hoping that everyone (and mean everyone) will attend this event. It will be one like no other and one you'll not soon forget nor regret attending.

Stay tuned and fasten your seatbelts...

All in God's big plan,

Randy

From Trina

2008-08-09T12:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Randy,

Praying for you. Each day I pray for God to give you comfort as you go through chemo and sustain and give you physical energy and that you have time in God’s word and in prayer. There are many scriptures to share but I want to share this one: Philippians 4:19: I (God) will supply all your needs!. … I like that He means ALL.

With Christ’s Love,

-Trina

Cross another red line through the page

2008-08-08T17:40:00.000-07:00

I made it through the second week of treatment pretty well. The fatigue is beginning to creep in, my ears ring pretty much all the time, and the nausea is ever present. But considering what I've been through so far with the combined one two punch of chemo / radiation, I think I'm holding the fort together pretty well. I now have the weekend off from everything and hope the chill time will recharge me for what's ahead next week.

So you know, the radiology nurses call me their star & favorite patient. I told them they say that to all the boys but none the less, it felt good to hear. Again from the patient standpoint, I couldn't be with a finer set of people who are tending after me.

Each day this week after treatment I was able to meet with a friend and go on an adventure. Short & long walks, lunch, museums, etc. One of the true blessings of this situation is the reconnection of past friends. Kathy, Cindy, & Karin this week all stepped up and made my week a little brighter. We walked & talked and they have all been there for me and what a treat it has been to spend quality time with each and reconnect in a meaningful way. And of course Liam and Brad are omnipresent and guiding my emotional output every step of the way as well.

It continues to reinforce for me how big the little things really are...

Much love,

Randy

Still got my hair

2008-08-04T19:21:00.001-07:00

Today I finished the next round of chemo. Six straight days and all in all, I can't complain too heavily about the side effects. Today was an all-dayer (6am - 4pm) but it is now behind me and I don't do the next round for more of the same for 21 days from now. Only daily radiation so I'm relieved as radiation only takes about a half hour from the time I arrive till the time I leave the hospital.

Still no real side effects other than the ringing in my ears. I still have my hair but am told that 'may' disappear within the week due to the type of chemo I've just been administered. We'll see. There are certainly worse things and if having a military corp cut walking the street, it may get a salute or two.

I've been staying more active during this go around and I believe that has helped tremendously with my stamina. I even went for a good 8 mile bike ride yesterday in lieu of Seafair and felt good accomplishing this task.

I'm heading out shortly for my evening walk with my walking partner Karin. She's been very diligent about keeping me moving and not allowing too much dust to settle on my fatigued body.

All for now but know I continue to appreciate your cards, letters, emails, posts, signs of encouragement and of course all of the prayers. It does help and I feel very strong God is working with me through this time and I've got much work to do here on earth before he's done with me.

Much love and wishing you all good things,

Randy

One down, seven to go...

2008-08-01T13:49:00.000-07:00

Today is the end of week one and so far, fatigue is the only casualty of endurance. I will say although the week went fairly quickly, it was still long.

I'm getting my chemo treatments @ the UW Med Ctr in lieu of SCCA from here on out and it's fabulous. Not that SCCA wasn't, it's just the UW is smaller, less crowded, more attn., better accommodations, food, etc. I even have the nurses fighting over who is going to tend to me the following day...nice. And, it's right upstairs from radiation so the transition time is nil.

I still have my hair, my wits, and of course the sense this is going to all work out great in the end. The doctors are all encouraged and the treatment as I stated couldn't be going any better.

Next week only one day of chemo (albeit all day) and then I'm solely receiving radiation for the next 4 weeks. So far, little to no side effects with the radiation. Keeping my fingers crossed.

RB

Day 2 and all is well

2008-07-29T14:34:00.000-07:00

Quick update to let you know I've started the journey and have two steps into it. I finished day two of treatment today and all is well. I'm feeling it but it's gradual. I'll keep hoping that it stays at a minimum.

I'm getting chemo treatment from the UW & SCCA this go around and today was the first time @ the UW. Once again, unbelievably professional and I can't sing their praises enough when it comes to caring for people. Everyone there treats you as if you are the only patient. Believe me, it couldn't be further from truth.

One huge lesson I've learned from this experience is how many people are afflicted. If you ever want an eye opener on living each day to the fullest, I suggest visiting the SCCA and walk each floor. Doesn't matter which day or time. Eight to eighty, blind crippled and crazy are in the waiting room with all different levels, stages, and afflictions of the disease. And to think, this is only one center in one city. Cancer is a true epidemic in our society and it's something we always think the other person is going to get. Not us.

Back on course, I'm 2 down with 38 to go. But I'm glad to begun the fight again with the doctors help. They're all so great, I'm glad to have them in my corner.

All for now and wishing everyone who reads nothing but goodness,

Love,

Randy

The Lords Prayer

2008-07-27T15:58:00.001-07:00

Hi all,

I wanted to share one of the oldest but certainly the most famous prayer of Christianity. I'm sure you know it by heart but as such, we sometimes skim over the words and have them fall empty on our hearts. Whether you believe Jesus to be the Saviour or not, the words of this short verse should not go unheard nor unnoticed.

I believe heartily in these words and their composition and had the opportunity to attend a service today that the pastor broke the prayer down line by line. It had been 30 some years since I first read Emmet Fox's 'The Sermon on the Mount' which did the same in great detail. It forever changed my view of life and became my core philosophy from which I attempted to live my life. Not always achieving mind you...

I'm taking the liberty to copy a version of the interpretation here below. I hope you enjoy the lesson as reliving today's message helped me tremendously in readying myself for the weeks ahead.

Our Father, who art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
[For thine is the kingdom,
and the power, and the glory,
for ever and ever.
Amen.]

"Our Father, which art in Heaven"
Together, the first two words — Our Father — are a title used elsewhere in the New Testament, as well as in Jewish literature, to refer to God.
The opening pronoun of Matthew's version of the prayer — our — is plural, which would be a strong indication that the prayer was intended for communal, rather than private, worship.

"Hallowed be thy Name"
Having opened, the prayer begins in the same manner as the Kaddish, hallowing the name of God, and then going on to express hope that God's will and kingdom will happen. In Judaism the name of God is of extreme importance, and honouring the name central to piety. Names were seen not simply as labels, but as true reflections of the nature and identity of what they referred to. So, the prayer that God's name be hallowed was seen as equivalent to hallowing God himself. "Hallowed be" is in the passive voice and so does not indicate who is to do the hallowing. One interpretation is that it is a call for all believers to honour God's name. Those who see the prayer as primarily eschatological understand the prayer to be an expression of desire for the end times, when God's name, in the view of those saying the prayer, will be universally honoured.

"Thy kingdom come"
The request for God's kingdom to come is usually interpreted as a reference to the belief, common at the time, that a Messiah figure would bring about a Kingdom of God. The coming of God's Kingdom is seen as a divine gift to be prayed for, not a human achievement.[8] Some scholars have argued that this prayer is pre-Christian and was not designed for specifically Christian interpretation. Many evangelicals see it as quite the opposite — a command to spread Christianity.

"Thy will be done, in earth as it is in heaven"
The prayer follows with an expression of hope for God's will to be done. Some see the expression of hope as an addendum to assert a request for earth to be under direct and manifest divine command. Others see it as a call on people to submit to God and his teachings. In the Gospels, these requests have the added clarification in earth, as it is in heaven, an ambiguous phrase in Greek which can either be a simile (i.e., make earth like heaven), or a couple (i.e., both in heaven and earth), though simile is the most significant common interpretation.

"Give us this day our daily bread"
The more personal requests break from the similarity to the Kaddish. The first concerns daily bread. The meaning of the word normally translated as daily, ἐπιούσιος epiousios, is obscure. The word is almost a hapax legomenon, occurring only in Luke and Matthew's versions of the Lord's Prayer. (It was once mistakenly thought to be found also in an Egyptian accounting book.)[9]. Daily bread appears to be a reference to the way God provided manna to the Israelites each day while they were in the wilderness, as in Exodus 16:15–21. Since they could not keep any manna overnight, they had to depend on God to provide anew each morning. Etymologically epiousios seems to be related to the Greek words epi, meaning on,over,at,against and ousia, meaning substance. It is translated as supersubstantialem in the Vulgate (Matthew 6:11) and accordingly as supersubstantial in the Douay-Rheims Bible (Matthew 6:11). Early writers connected this to Eucharistic transubstantiation. Some modern Protestant scholars tend to reject this connection on the presumption that Eucharistic practise and the doctrine of transubstantiation both developed later than Matthew was written. Epiousios can also be understood as existence, i.e., bread that was fundamental to survival. In the era, bread was the most important food for survival. However, scholars of linguistics consider this rendering unlikely since it would violate standard rules of word formation. Koine Greek had several far more common terms for the same idea. Some interpret epiousios as meaning for tomorrow, as in the wording used by the Gospel of the Nazoraeans for the prayer.[10] The common translation as "daily" is conveniently close in meaning to the other two possibilities as well. Those Christians who read the Lord's Prayer as eschatological view epiousios as referring to the second coming — reading for tomorrow (and bread) in a metaphorical sense. Most scholars disagree, particularly since Jesus is portrayed throughout Luke and Matthew as caring for everyday needs for his followers, particularly in the bread-related miracles that are recounted.

"And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us"
After the request for bread, Matthew and Luke diverge slightly. Matthew continues with a request for debts to be forgiven in the same manner as people forgive those who have debts against them. Luke, on the other hand, makes a similar request about sins being forgiven in the manner of debts being forgiven between people. The word "debts" (ὀφειλήματα) does not necessarily mean financial obligations as shown by the use of the verbal form of the same word (ὀφείλετε) in passages such as Romans 13:8. In Aramaic the word for debt is also used to mean sin. This difference between Luke's and Matthew's wording could be explained by the original form of the prayer having been in Aramaic. The generally accepted interpretation is thus that the request is for forgiveness of sin, not of supposed loans granted by God. But some groups read it as a condemnation of all forms of lending. Asking for forgiveness from God was a staple of Jewish prayers. It was also considered proper for individuals to be forgiving of others, so the sentiment expressed in the prayer would have been a common one of the time.

"And lead us not into temptation"
Interpretations of the penultimate petition of the prayer — not to be led by God into peirasmos — vary considerably. The range of meanings of the Greek word "πειρασμός" (peirasmos) is illustrated in The New Testament Greek Lexicon. In different contexts it can mean temptation, testing, trial, experiment. Traditionally it has been translated "temptation" and, in spite of the statement in James 1:12-15 that God tests/tempts nobody, some see the petition in the Lord's Prayer as implying that God leads people to sin. There are generally two arguments for interpreting the word as meaning here a "test of character". First, it may be an eschatological appeal against unfavourable Last Judgment, though nowhere in literature of the time, not even in the New Testament, is the term peirasmos connected to such an event. The other argument is that it acts as a plea against hard tests described elsewhere in scripture, such as those of Job.[11] It can also be read as: "LORD, do not let us be led (by ourselves, by others, by Satan) into temptations". Since it follows shortly after a plea for daily bread (i.e. material sustenance), it can be seen as referring to not being caught up in the material pleasures given.

"But deliver us from evil"
Translations and scholars are divided over whether the evil mentioned in the final petition refers to evil in general or the devil in particular. The original Greek, as well as the Latin version, could be either of neuter (evil in general) or masculine (the evil one) gender. In earlier parts of the Sermon on the Mount, in which Matthew's version of the prayer appears, the term is used to refer to general evil. Later parts of Matthew refer to the devil when discussing similar issues. However, the devil is never referred to as the evil one in any Aramaic sources. While John Calvin accepted the vagueness of the term's meaning, he considered that there is little real difference between the two interpretations, and that therefore the question is of no real consequence.

"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen "
The doxology of the prayer is not contained in Luke's version, nor is it present in the earliest manuscripts of Matthew. The first known use of the doxology, in a less lengthy form ("for yours is the power and the glory forever"),[12] as a conclusion for the Lord's Prayer (in a version slightly different from that of Matthew) is in the Didache, 8:2. There are at least ten different versions of the doxology in early manuscripts of Matthew before it seems to have standardised. Jewish prayers at the time had doxological endings. The doxology may have been originally appended to the Lord's Prayer for use during congregational worship. If so, it could be based on 1 Chronicles 29:11. Most scholars do not consider it part of the original text of Matthew, and modern translations do not include it, mentioning it only in footnotes. Latin Rite Roman Catholics do not use it when reciting the Lord's Prayer, but it has been included as an independent item, not as part of the Lord's Prayer, in the 1970 revision of the Mass. It is attached to the Lord's Prayer in Eastern Christianity (including Byzantine Rite Eastern Catholic Churches) and Protestantism. A minority, generally fundamentalists, posit that the doxology was so important that early manuscripts of Matthew neglected it due to its obviousness,[13] though several other quite obvious things are mentioned in the Gospels.

The Plan

2008-07-21T20:28:00.001-07:00

Last Friday I got the call from the UW Medical Ctr that I will begin my next round of chemo / radiation on Monday, July 28. The chemo will be two sessions that start on Monday and will be 6 straight days in conjunction with the radiation. There will be another round of chemo @ the end of the 8 week stretch and will be the same as the beginning; six straight days.

Radiation is everyday for 8 weeks (with weekends off). Apparently cancer doesn't work on you during the weekends, only during the week.

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to this next stint. I'm still sore from the surgery and am glad to have had the extra time to heal from that, have a bit of a reprieve from treatments, and be with my friends and family without the fatigue that comes with chemo. None the less, this next go around will be a marathon and I'm readying myself for it this week. Hopefully it will go quickly with minimum side effects.

That's about it for now. It was great having my folks and sister and brother in law up from California for 3 weeks. That time flew by and it was great to relax with them and hang out. I'm a very blessed person for having such incredible family and friends.

Much love and wishing everyone the best of all things,

Randy

82 Reasons

2008-07-21T20:23:00.000-07:00

As Carol mentioned below, we came up with our list of 82 reasons why we love our father. Here they are for all to enjoy.

41 Reasons Why I Love My Dad
by Carol Broad Schneider
June 24, 2008

1. He is the best example there is of a what it means to be a gentleman.
2. He has a wonderful sense of humor, even if he does tell “groaner” jokes once in a while.
3. He cares about others more than he cares about himself.
4. He read me bedtime stories after a tiring day at work.
5. He always has time for me and anyone else who needs him.
6. He never tries to put on airs or impress anyone—he’s completely comfortable with who he is.
7. He has always been a wonderful provider for our family.
8. He is a man of integrity and honor.
9. He is always honest.
10. He lives the Golden Rule.
11. He is kind-hearted.
12. He has an infectious laugh.
13. He gives his best at whatever he does.
14. He sets the best possible example for learning what it means to be a good person by the way he lives his life.
15. He is a great listener.
16. He is soft-spoken, patient, and extremely slow to anger.
17. He likes to give others the benefit of the doubt.
18. He was a dutiful son.
19. He is a loving, caring, and giving brother.
20. He is a loving, caring, and giving husband.
21. He is a loyal, caring friend.
22. He always helped me figure out the answers to my math homework.
23. He would sit down at the piano with me when I just couldn’t get a piece “right” and help me work through it until I got it.
24. He’s willing to try new things and be adventurous.
25. He loved to travel to distant lands and explore new cultures.
26. He has a strong sense of who he is and his place in the world.
27. He loves to try new foods.
28. He always compliments me even when I don’t deserve it.
29. He always thanks the cook(s) after a meal, no matter what he’s been served.
30. He’s generous beyond measure both with his time, his money, his energy, and his love.
31. He never expects anything in return, no matter what he does for others.
32. He always offers to help, no matter what.
33. He’s a great handyman. He could fix whatever needed fixing; or, if he couldn’t, he’d figure out a way to get it fixed.
34. He always sees the rainbow in the rainy day—every cloud’s silver lining.
35. He loves to have fun and knows how to do it.
36. He would give up doing something he enjoyed so I could do something I enjoyed instead.
37. He sacrifices for others without ever mentioning it.
38. He doesn’t know what it means to complain.
39. He always greets me with a smile, a hug, and a kiss and tells me how great I look.
40. He always believes in me.
41. He is the embodiment of love.

41 Reasons Why I Love My Dad
by
Randall Robert Broad
June 24, 2008

1. He taught me that a homemade sword was better than a manufactured one.
2. He taught me how to be resourceful and figure it out.
3. He always helped me with my homework and to think through a problem when I couldn’t figure it out on my own.
4. He taught me humility is better than pride.
5. He demonstrated that you don’t have to be a good singer to sing @ church.
6. He is always the perfect gentleman and leads by example…except when he farts in public.
7. He showed what side of the window a BB came from.
8. He taught me that a good dinner with your family is the best entertainment there is.
9. He’s the most well read person I’ve ever known.
10. He can speak intelligently about any subject without being a know it all.
11. He demonstrated that hard work is worth it.
12. He taught me how to enjoy and appreciate a fine garden.
13. He taught me how to build a fine garden so I could appreciate it.
14. He’s the pillar of patience. Something I’ve yet to conquer.
15. He taught me that beef tongue sandwich tastes better than it smells.
16. He’s always learning new things.
17. He’s traveled to more countries than I can count and always had a good time doing so.
18. He is a great husband.
19. He is a great friend.
20. He taught me that it’s better to have a sense of humor than to be a curmudgeon.
21. He appreciates the simple things in life.
22. He taught me that honesty is everything.
23. He taught me how to get a job and the value of such.
24. He taught me a good work ethic.
25. He taught me it was better to buy my own car than to have one bought for me.
26. He introduced me to the game of golf and all of the good that comes from that.
27. He showed me the value of having a dog and being the one who feeds it and cleans up after it.
28. He taught me the value of being a good brother.
29. He demonstrated how to be a dutiful son and the power of this virtue.
30. I could always count on him.
31. He smiles more than he frowns.
32. He taught me how to use a ruler.
33. He taught me the value of a firm handshake.
34. He is the most gentle person I have ever known.
35. He showed me the best things in life can’t be purchased.
36. He taught me it’s not worth making your mother cry over a $3 pair of shorts.
37. He taught me the best part of fishing is catching fish.
38. Sitting together in silence is sometimes the best conversation.
39. Showing me that by starting a job means it’s half finished.
40. He demonstrated that it’s not that important that everyone like you but it’s very important they respect you.
41. He set the highest standard for a son to be better than his father.

Seattle Sojourn

2008-07-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd let everyone know how our time in Kirkland and environs was with Randy.

My parents, my husband Steve, and I were up for 3 weeks (end of June to mid July) to visit Randy and help him out as much as we could. We had a wonderful time together. Randy was in good spirits and on the mend from his surgery. He's still working on his To-Do list which I helped him with a little. He has lots of things on his plate and trying to get them all accomplished can be rather daunting at times. I know I'm a procrastinator when it comes to doing things I'd rather not do, so I could completely relate to him. However, he did get quite a bit accomplished and keeps chipping away at the list.

Every day we started by having breakfast together at Randy's and enjoying the breathtaking view from his dining room. The weather was glorious and we enjoyed it immensely. Friends frequently popped in including some of my best friends from high school whom I hadn't seen in years. I felt so fortunate to be able to connect with them on several occasions. They came and visited Randy and my family as well, so it was a mini-reunion of sorts. That was definitely a bonus on our trip (at least for me). It was also great visiting with Emily and Riley several times and being around them. They are definitely growing up quickly and it was very special to be with them for such a long period of time. They are wonderful kids who are a joy to be around.

We visited our family friends that we've known for over 40 years (the Dawsons and Scrivaniches and Karen Vaughn Montague) as well. In fact, my parents even stayed with the Scrivaniches for 3 nights. It's such an incredible blessing to have so many wonderful long-term friends who are like family. We can pick up right where we left off with them, even if we haven't seen them in ages. We thoroughly enjoyed our time with all of them.

One of the highlights of our trip was when Randy and I presented our dad with a copy of Tim Russert's book "Big Russ and Me" along with 82 reasons why we love our dad. I had seen an interview with Tim Russert in which he was explaining how people had responded to his book after it was published and someone had written him and said how he had come up with this idea. For his father's birthday, this reader had created a list of reasons why he loved his father. He came up with a different reason for each year his father had lived. So, Randy and I each wrote 41 reasons to correspond to his 82 years of life. It was definitely a moving, emotional experience for all of us.

During our time up north Randy and I were able to spend some time alone together which was also wonderful. I realize more and more how much I love him and am so grateful to have him as my brother. He always makes me feel loved, no matter what.

No one can ask for a better gift than that! All in all, we had a memorable, relaxing, albeit emotional time visiting Randy, his friends, our friends, and family (we even got to see my dad's sister, Betty, and her daughter, Anita). We enjoyed every moment of our time together.

Carol Schneider

Awaiting the plan

2008-07-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

A quick entry to give you an update on treatment status. I'm awaiting a call from the University of Washington Medical Center Radiologist & Oncologist to inform me of when I will begin the chemo / radiation treatment. They have to formulate the plan which I expect to know by July 18. From there I'll have a clearer idea of the schedule.

I don't view this as a bad thing as it's given me a chance to heal from the surgery which occurred 4 weeks ago today ... amazing how quickly time flies and I am healing from it well. I'm still a tad sore and tire in the afternoon most days but all in all, I'm getting along great. The Doc's said it takes 60 days to get to 90%. I believe I'm on course.

The past weekend I made my way to the Gorge in George to see the Police and Elvis Costello ... great show, incredible weather, great lodging and fantastic time with my good friends Phil, Vicky & D'Laina. We had a blast and it was a great distraction from what's ahead.

All for now. More when I know.

A Carrot, an egg, or coffee

2008-07-05T17:30:00.000-07:00

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial- hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials arethey're greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE.

A new beginning

2008-07-02T11:26:00.000-07:00

As my sister so succinctly put it, I'm off to radiology land in a week or so for the balance of the summer. As I see it, the good news from this is any woman from here on out that takes me on will most likely light up like a pin ball machine. At least glow in the dark (which will make it easy to locate on a moonless night).

I'm still sore from the surgery and I'm going to visit my surgeon for the first time today since the surgery a couple of weeks back. Should prove interesting to hear his take on the course of action.

Needless to say, I'm a bit disappointed from the direction this has taken as I was hoping to be cancer free and sing from the highest hills the course this has taken. Not to be though and now I'm gearing up for the next fight. It's still a series of ups and downs but mostly ups. My folks are visiting for a few weeks along with my sister and brother in law and it's been great to have them near through this.

Jhenya, my surrogate mother took on the task of caring for me for the first week out of the hospital. This was a true joy and a living angel to have in my corner fixing some of her famous epicurean delights whilest tending to my every need. I'm not sure how I would have gotten through that first week without her...like I say, there are angels on earth and she is one of them.

I have had such an outpouring of love and support from so many friends it's beyond the scope here to list them all. But please know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers and I am eternally grateful for all you have blessed me with during the past several weeks. The visits, dinners and walks have all been great and a true treat to help me through this recovery period. Again, I can't thank everyone enough for the love and support that has been sent my way.

I'll break with this for now as I'm off to the surgeons appointment and to garner more 'information'. I will be a walking encyclopedia on cancer care when this through so if you come across anyone wishing to hear first hand accounts, by all means send them my direction. I'm certain to have a point of view on any related topic.

All for now with wishing you all good things,

Randy

Randy's Visit to the Radiologist

2008-06-30T16:01:00.000-07:00

Today my mom and I accompanied Randy to the UW Cancer Alliance to meet with his radiologist, Dr. Shilpen Patel, for a consultation. We were first met by a young medical student who went over Randy's treatment since his cancer was discovered in March. After a thorough review, his radiologist arrived, a young, personable doctor who acted like he had all the time in the world for us. He explained what type of treatment he plans to do with the radiation and how it will be used in conjunction with the chemo. Right now it looks like Randy will have about 8 weeks of daily (Monday through Friday) radiation treatments that last about 3-5 minutes each. His first scheduled treatment is on Monday, July 14. Even though the actual radiation treatment lasts only a few minutes, he said Randy can expect to be at the hospital for the treatment for about an hour because it takes a good 40-45 minutes just to get him and everything else ready. He also went over all the possible side effects and what Randy can expect. He said that the first 3 - 31/2 weeks will be pretty much side-effect free in terms of the radiation. He might have a little redness and possibly a little fatigue, but nothing very noticeable. After that, however, things start to change. Redness of the esophageal area and his back will occur, he may experience a feeling of a sore throat due to the burning of the esophagus, and he will feel fatigued. He emphasized that he needs to exercise daily for 30 - 60 minutes (nothing extremely strenuous, but he needs to run, walk, bike, etc.), eat well, avoid alcohol except for a glass of wine once in a while---and he needs to get enough rest. Also, he'll be having another round of chemo in conjunction with the radiation this time. They'll give him one at the beginning and another at the end. The only thing the doc said about the chemo side effects is that they will amplify the radiation side effects. A lot just depends on the type of chemo he gets and right now he doesn't know exactly what that will look like. He meets with his surgeon, Dr.Wood, for the first time since his surgery this Wednesday. Mom and I plan to go with him again and get the lowdown.

After answering all our questions, Randy was escorted by a very friendly technician named Lee to another room where she explained exactly what she was going to do (hook him up to an IV and give him a "contrast" where they inject dye in his veins to find out exactly where the tumors are so they know where to aim the radiation), and then made an alpha cradle--a pillow-like contraption that will be formed to his body so that when he goes for the radiation, he will lie on it/in it and they'll be able to exactly pinpoint where to aim the radiation. Lots of things to do to prepare for these treatments.

While we were meeting with the medical student, Randy was scratching his left calf and noticed that it was bleeding. It took a while to get it stopped and he said it had been itching the night before and he thought he'd been scratching it in his sleep. His other ankle had been itching, too. Then, after he had the contrast dye, his skin flushed pink so the doctor decided to give him some Benadryl to take care of the reaction which it did. He said that when Randy needs more contrast dye treatments he'll have to have Benadryl and some Prednisone beforehand to prevent this reaction.

Randy seemed to be handling the news in stride, but as we were leaving he said he now knows how he'll be spending his summer. He was a bit discouraged, but trying to keep a positive outlook. The doctor seems optimistic and went over every possible side effect--he said he didn't want to hide anything from him. I asked a few questions as did my mom and between the three of us, I think we left feeling like we knew a lot more than we did going in. As Randy has mentioned before, the people at the UW are amazing--every single person we came in contact with was upbeat, positive, smiling, caring--just the kind of person you would want to be taking care of your loved one. He's in good hands!

Randy comes home from the hospital

2008-06-20T18:08:00.001-07:00

I've never seen a hospital room with so many flowers!

Randy was very happy to leave the hospital today. I picked him up just after noon, and we headed back to his apartment in Kirkland.
Frankly, I was amazed at how much Randy had recovered since Monday! The color had come back to his cheeks and he was zipping around like the proverbial spring chicken. (Someone needs to explain to me some day how the term "spring chicken" came about. I'd also like to know where the term "as easy as taking candy from a baby", which MUST have been coined by someone who has never tried to take candy from a baby. Anyway, I digress...)

Otto (Randy's cat) was definitely glad to have him home.

We had a quick cup of tea and I headed home.

The next stage is to wait 3 - 4 weeks before Chemo and Radiation. This will give Randy the time he needs to recover from the operation.

More in a bit...

a change of strategy

2008-06-17T07:06:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008
The surgery yesterday began a lot later than planned. It was probably well after 7:30 before it ended.
Candy and Jenja were there to talk to the surgeon, who explained why they decided not to remove part or all of Randy's left lung.
The tumors had grown in a way that made it a bit more difficult to remove them, and decided that a combination of radiation + chemo would be more effective at this juncture, and they closed him up without removing anything just yet.
The good news is that his right lung is totally clear of cancer - which had been their biggest concern - and also, they know now that Randy responds well to chemo because the three original rounds of chemo shrank the tumors significantly.

Even drugged with painkillers, Randy's first questions were about how much they had removed. He was naturally disappointed when he learned that they hadn't scooped out what was left of the cancer yet.
Still, they now have a much better understanding of where exactly the cancer is located and will be able to target the radiation very effectively. The best understanding they get is when they are able to look directly at the tumors, etc..

I'm in Tully's on Dickerson - my favorite Seattle-side Tully's because of all the space - for a few hours, then I will visit Randy. Brad said he'd be there for the later shift.

I don't know visiting hours yet, but it seems like it is ok to drop by. If anyone would like to visit and would like to call, feel free to call me or Brad:
Liam: 425-985-4464
Brad: 206-650-0480

More in a bit...

Liam

The Big Fella goes to the Fight

2008-06-16T11:14:00.001-07:00

Randy does some final email checking before heading into the University of Washington for his surgery today.

He asked me to add this card to the blog, so here it is. I hope you can all read it ok.

Click each image to see a bigger picture....

It's about 11:30am now. With a bit of luck, the surgeon is already well on his way to removing the remaining cancer from Randy's body.
I'll head back in to the hospital in an hour or two, and post phone numbers, visiting hours, etc., to this blog as soon as I learn what's what.

Say a little prayer everyone. Your friend (son, brother, father) is in good hands.

The best gift of all

2008-06-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was blessed to have spent with my kids and have the very best of Fathers Days. My friend Karin who works @ the Bellevue Westin made sure we had the greatest of everything and provided the perfect backdrop for us to play, relax, be entertained, laugh and most of all, be completely connected for 24 straight hours.

It was the very best of weekends.

We saw movies, did spa treatments, had room service (too much room service), swam, laughed, wrestled and just plain hung out. A weekend to remember for sure. Riley went so far as to say, 'Dad, we need to do this monthly'. It was great.

On Sunday, Emily and Riley were struggling with what to get me for Fathers Day. I told them to surprise me. So off they went to the mall with two of Emily's good friends, (Hana & Ashley who had joined us).

While they were gone, I went to the gym and swam a few laps in the pool. During this time, I realized they'd already given me my gift, a gift of a lifetime. I realized in that moment they had provided the gift of Life as that is exactly what I had received in abundance!

I am blessed beyond words to describe my feelings of joy. It was the finest of Father's Days gift a father could have possibly imagined.

Love,

Randy

Be a Tiger...

2008-06-15T19:31:00.000-07:00

Randster:

Happy Father's Day...I'm just so happy that it's Father's Day and happy to wish you Happy Father's Day!
I bet that you are happy that I am happy and that we both hope that all fathers everywhere are happy today.

Just left you a voicemail ... we are all thinking of you as we know tomorrow is your surgery day. We will be thinking of you, praying for you and will be focused on nothing but the best outcome. Thank God and dedicated researchers for the advancement in cancer treatments we now have today. My mother is a perfect example of someone who has survived because of the new technology and treatments.

Be a Tiger!!

All our Love...Greg, Nancy, Grant and Andrew:-)

Houston, we have Lift-off

2008-06-13T13:26:00.001-07:00

Surgery is scheduled for 10:45am next Monday. 4 hours later I trust I'll be cancer free.

RB

Dirk

2008-06-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

Dirk Brandenburg to me

Hi Randy, I just wanted to know that I am thinking of you a lot. I am sure you are receiving a lot of support from your many other very good friends. I just wanted you to know that I am out here quietly giving you all my support. I look forward to you getting through this long difficult process, you will.

As you know, only with the "intimate understanding" that we really will not live forever can we understand and live our lives authentically. Along with everything else, I am sure that you have gained a great understanding of what is important to you. What a great gift you have received. Don't you wish there were an easier way...? Hang in there buddy!!

Dirk Brandenburg

My bro Claude

2008-06-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

We will all be there on the 16th bro. I wish I was in town personally but I will be ringing you to get an idea how you're doing and what the new designer narcs are like....snag a few for your friends for the recovery party....

PS: I am told that it is good practice to take some Viagra prior to the surgery...that way you send the right message to all the nurses and gets you extra care (with a smile)...

Peace brother and speak to you later.

Claude

A slight change of plan

2008-06-12T14:15:00.000-07:00

Monday June 16 will now be the day they remove the lower lobe of my left lung and along with it the shrunken tumor. Prior to doing so though, Dr. Wood will perform a bronchoscopy to make sure nothing is in my windpipe and a mediastenoscopy. The latter is a couple of cuts above my breast bone to extract some of the lymphs, dip them in some liquid nitrogen and freeze the little suckers to see if they're 'active'. Bottom line, further diagnosis of the illness to determine treatment. All things looking good, off with the lower lung we go. I'm either in there for 15 minutes or 4 hours...the latter being the optimal scenario of which I'm confident will be the procedure.

Dr. Wood gave me the option of waiting the full 6 weeks following final chemo or pushing us ahead as he feels I'm in good enough shape to take on the full effect of lung removal. Thus, a positive and I'm treating as such. Also, I figure by the time I recover from this, summer will have finally arrived in Seattle making it all the better to enjoy my convalescence in a more meaningful environment and use "Junuary" as the down time.

The procedure will occur @ the UW Medical Center, 1959 N.E. Pacific St., Seattle, WA 98195. I will be there 3 to 5 days all depending upon how fast I recover. The main number is 206 598-6334. I don't plan to be on line nor have my Cell phone as the hospital frowns upon the latter. I'll be on the 5th floor of the Pavilion Surgery Center. I'll have my own private suite so if you want to plan a party, I'm in. Just keep the 'Free Bird' CD @ home as I recall that one always calling the cops from the neighboring parties.

If you wish to visit, park below the center and bring your parking ticket with you for validation. It's not 100% covered but it is discounted.

I had scheduled a trip to go to Puerto Vallarta on the 22nd of June for nine days and relax in the sand to ready myself for the July timeline. But seeing as how my focus is on defeating this affliction, I opted to take the battle to the cancer and alleviate any possibility of it being the other way around.

God willing, I'll make it to Mexico as I know it will still be there when I'm ready and it will be all the more rewarding as I will have accomplished a major feat.

The doc's tell me it's a 60 day recovery period to get to 90%...little golf or tackle football in that time frame but that doesn't mean I can't take everyone's money again come September. I quit playing tackle football about 35 years ago so that's not a problem.

Thanks all for your love, devotion and most of all your prayers. God is listening and he's not ready for me to lie down in his lap just yet...He told me the other night during a prayer vigil there's a few more things HE wants me to tackle on HIS behalf on this planet between now and then.

Much love and faith in all that is good. Wishing us all a speedy recovery.

Randy

Childs Surgery

2008-06-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room---the first surgeries of the day. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.' The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze.' The second kid then asks, 'What are you here for?' The first kid says, 'A circumcision.' Whoa!' the second kid replies. 'Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year.'

Reflection from Jazz Vespers

2008-06-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Hi Randy,

This evening Steve and I attended a Jazz Vespers at our church that was really wonderful. I wanted to share with you and your readers some of the timely and meaningful pieces that were in the liturgy. I found them especially comforting and uplifting and I hope you do, too.

The opening prayer is: Loving God of all that is, help us to be still. Loosen our grip on our cares and concerns; clear away all stresses and frustrations. Quiet our busy minds; open a space deep within us; fill us with your grace. Help us to see all you have made as holy, the earth and people as sacred. Help us to live our lives with you at the center. Guide us, encourage us, resource us to articulate your kingdom, in partnership with those who differ most from us. Surround us with your love that casts out fear. Fill us with your hope for the world as it might be. Amen.

Another wonderful piece is one by Fred Buechner:

Listen to your life.

See it for the fathomless mystery that it is.

In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness:

touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it

because in the last analysis all moments are key moments,

and life itself is grace.

The last one is from A New Zealand Prayer Book:

Eternal Spirit,

Earth-maker, Pain-bearer, Life-giver,

Source of all that is and that shall be,

Father and Mother of us all,

Loving God, in whom is heaven:

The hallowing of your name echo through the universe!

The way of your justice be followed by the peoples of the world!

Your heavenly will be done by all created beings!

Your commonwealth of peace and freedom sustain our hope and come on earth.

With the bread we need for today, feed us.

In the hurts that we absorb from one another, forgive us.

In times of temptation and test, strengthen us.

From trials too great to endure, spare us.

From the grip of all that is evil, free us.

For you reign in the glory of the power that is love, now and forever. Amen

God bless us all! Amen.

love,

Carol

The Journey

2008-06-06T20:29:00.000-07:00

Every step of the journey is the journey. And the first step to the journey is to lose your way...

Mi Amigo Karl

2008-06-06T20:10:00.000-07:00

Randy, Thanks. Your blog is on my favorite list. The blog is full of incredibly well said thoughts. I think of you and pray for you every day. I am so sorry this had to happen to my extremely good friend, Randy. And I am enthused to hear some positive news, I know that you have Angels watching you and that you will win.

I want very very much to spend time with you soon. I would welcome the chance to see you anywhere anytime, either doing something fun or nothing at all. I am good to go for any oportunity to be there and help in any way I can. It is sure good to know that you have some of the finest friends that ever walked on this planet. I am honored to be among those that love you forever.

Karl

Next steps; surgery planned for week of July 10

2008-06-05T14:08:00.000-07:00

I'm pleased to report I survived the final chemo treatment with flying colors. It lingered a bit longer than I expected with the typical nausea & fatigue but all in all, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever experienced. That said, I'm not exactly recommending it nor do I wish more in my future.

The good news is I am chemo susceptible which translates into it did what it was suppose to do and that was shrink the tumors / affected lymph nodes. The doctor didn't specify the exact amount of the reduction but both the oncologist and the surgeon concur it did a good enough job to take me to the next step in the process of removing the tumor(s) in my lung via surgery.

The plan as it currently stands is to have surgery to remove the lower lobe of my left lung and the affected lymph's (3 or however many they find once they go in). The surgeon likes to wait six weeks following the last chemo treatment. That puts us into the first / second week of July depending upon the surgeon's schedule. I don't have an exact date but my guess it will most likely occur the week of July 10.

Convalescence from this type of surgery looks like 4 -5 days in the hospital with 60 days to get back to 90 percent. But during this time I should be able to function fairly well and get about my daily routine fairly quickly. They want you up and about, not lying around. So while it will be a gradual recovery, it should prove fairly non invasive from a life hindering debilitation standpoint. At least that's how I'm interpreting it and planning on it to unfold.

In the meantime, I'm continuing to work and will get myself as physically fit as possible in the next 4 weeks to be on top of my physical game when they start carving me up.

I'll have a nice C shape scar on my left side under my arm that wraps around my back I'm told. It should prove a nice match the one on my right hip from last years hip replacement.

After all of this, please let me know if you know any casting directors looking for a middle aged guy for any horror flicks where they're wanting to save a little on scar make-up artist fees. I should fill the bill nicely.
There is also a new iPod docking station holder and GPS they install into your ribcage these days and since the insurance covers most of that, I'll get that new kit too.

My spirits are good and so between now and then will be gearing myself up for this all important next round.

message from John Douthwaite

2008-05-30T06:58:00.000-07:00

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: John Douthwaite <fakehead1@seanet.com>
Date: Thu, May 29, 2008 at 11:02 PM
Subject: blog not
To: randy.broad@gmail.com

hey Randolino,
tried to blog but I am blog challenged...here is my submission. How're you
feeling? do I need to set a tee time yet for you and me and Rog and ...?

---
Last week I went in to visit my good buddy Randy during his third chemo
session. I wasn't sure what to expect. When I first heard the news it hit
me, as I'm sure it did all his friends, like a brick in the face. You gotta
be kidding me! And then, when all of us in the room on that blessed day
heard the good news of an incredibly optimistic prognosis, it was one of the
best days of my life! Only seeing my kids born can compete. Guardian angels
working overtime. If only the nurse would have helped Randy out with his
heavy load. JH - nice work on the tunes!

RB - you hang in there and we will all be there for you in our prayers and
our thoughts. Your time isn't up quiet yet. And as for that Fiat...wasn't
it was an MG?

JD
----

Good News on efficacy of Chemo #2; Chemo #3 begins.

2008-05-22T14:04:00.000-07:00

There was a palpable sense of relieve in the room as Dr. Martens told us that every one of Randy's significant tumors had all shrunk by at least 20% as a result of Chemo #2!!!!
The only problem Martens mentioned was that Randy would need an extra long operating table - or they could shorten him during surgery - the regular 6-foot tables are too short.

Plenty of miles yet to travel, but yesterday's progress and news are a great boost in Randy's fight. Perhaps you could say he has successfully crossed the English Channel and is on his way to Berlin.

And even BETTER news is, the cute little nurse found the missing 1968 Fiat Spider car keys!!!! You can click the image to the right to see the results of Randy's CT scan in a larger format.
Now all we need to do is find the original Fiat motor vehicle itself. Locked in the glove box is his parents' 1974 tax returns which he forgot to mail by April 15 1975.

And so, Chemo day #3 passed mainly without incident. I dropped him in to the SCCA in the morning and hung around just long enough to hear the Good News. Randy's old friend John Henry stayed to keep him company, and over the course of the day Brad Easton, Charlotte, John and several others came to visit for extended periods. By the time I returned at 5pm, I thought they were giving the big fella last rites, there were so many visitors present.

Jim the nurse as usual did an incredibly diligent and sensitive job. He's the kind of man every father wants as his son-in-law.

Debra the very sweet and lovable chaplain also stopped by - and gave Randy her blessings and good wishes for the next stage - get through the Chemo and surgery.

On to Berlin, everyone.

2008-05-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

Hi Randy,

I've been meaning to add to your blog for quite some time, but didn't quite know what I wanted to say. I thought I could come up with something profound, but I can't. But what I would like you to know is how very proud I am to call you my brother and to say once again how very much I love you. You are such an amazing person--I admire everything about you. You are strong, wise, kind, loving, compassionate, and tenderhearted--all the best qualities anyone could want in a person.

I keep you in my prayers each and every day and you are always in my mind and heart as well. I'm still having a hard time believing that this is happening to you, my very own brother. But it is and you are handling it as I have come to expect that you would--with grace and strength and serenity. What an incredible role model you are for me!

I wish we were closer to you so that I could sit with you, talk with you face-to-face, touch you, just "be" with you. I am there in spirit, but it's not the same. Whatever I can do, let me know. I will do it without hesitation. You continue to show me what real love is and I am blessed for having such a wonderful brother and friend.

All my love,

Carol

Spiritual Healing

2008-05-15T12:38:00.000-07:00

Randy -

I have put off writing this e-mail for awhile now. I don't know how to start. I have been praying for you and Jesus has given me a picture of a red hot ball, about the size of a ping pong ball. This was too hot for me to touch and Jesus instructed me to wrap the white towel, (the fabric was soft and thin like you would use when dusting) around this red hot hurt after I had dipped it into the bucket with liquid that reminded me of water.

Yesterday, the picture came back and I was asked to take the towel and dip it again in the bucket of water and wrap the hot, hot ball. I sensed that this was emotional, not physical and yet the need to cool down the emotional hurt was tied into the ability to heal physically. The ball was a little cooler but I sensed it would be a process. Jesus projected me forward so that I know where he wants to end up.

The ball will be turning white and than dissolve into powder. I have allowed Jesus to talk to me this way in prayer for quite some time. It is my way of connecting to him and allowing him to lead the prayer and show me his heart. When I allow him this kind of control I am blessed because I can feel his heart better and my faith is strong because I know I am praying about what he is interested in, not what I wish or desire.

Anyway, please be assured this does not make me a spiritual person, just a person who enjoys communicating with God. Randy, the exciting thing is that Jesus is very, very interested in your healing!!! He seems to be more centered on the red hot ball right now. I am sharing this with you to encourage you and also to give you a possible heads up. It is possible that you might start feeling a little more emotional about things. If hurts start to come to your mind, seek Jesus, get into his arms and surrender the hurt to him along with the RIGHT to feel hurt. It is freeing. I am convinced that Jesus is more concerned from an ETERNAL perspective about our growth.

I wonder if because you are such a strong person you might have pushed down these hurts and remained positive in spite of. We all do this, but these hurts struck at the core of who you are, it goes back years. Jesus feels for us far more deeply that we feel for ourselves.

I don't really know what this is about because I felt like I was intruding into your personal space. What I am trying to say is I can't claim this last little bit about the hurts is from Jesus only the first part with the pictures. I have only sensed the rest.

Randy, is it OK that I pray like this for you? I want to respect your boundaries and if you do not want me to continue I will stop and surrender to your wishes.

Much love,

Monica

Choosing Cancer

2008-05-13T13:21:00.001-07:00

Several of you have had questions around my position of 'choosing' cancer over it choosing me. Please allow me to explain where I'm coming from and my position on this topic.

Choosing cancer for me is all about empowerment. Empowerment of a disease that has infected my body. If I allow the cancer to choose me then I’m giving it all the power. I’m choosing not to do that and taking away all the power from the disease.

Picture this if you will. Imagine someone holding two ice cream cones out in front of you; vanilla & chocolate. They ask, which one do you want, vanilla or chocolate? Go ahead, choose one.

Now, why did you choose the one you chose? My guess is you’ll give lot’s of ‘reasons’ why you chose one over the other. You like one flavor over the other, looks better, tastes better, fewer calories, bigger cone, more/less on one than the other, etc.

Now try it again and choose which one you want and ask yourself, why did I choose one over the other. Your answer should be I chose the one I chose because I chose it. No reason needed. As humans we get wrapped around explaining ourselves and rationalizing our subsequent decisions all the time on why we do what we do, why we need to look good, not look bad, etc. Choosing something because you CHOSE it is so much more in the moment and freeing oneself of approval or disapproval, need to or not need to, hope I will or can, etc. Who needs it? I sure don’t.

I choose cancer because I choose cancer. There’s a lesson in this that God wants me to learn from and take on from now through eternity. There is absolutely nothing I can do over having cancer as it will be with me forever / never go away (now that I’ve got it). That’s not to say that the doctors cant work their wonders to make it go into remission and prolong my life on earth but that’s the best they can do. Remission. Remission is not removal. That being the case, why would anyone want to take a position of succombing to IT and allowing IT to control oneself. I refuse to give it any such power and thus diminish it’s ability to interfere with or take away my spirit.

I hope that helps to explain where I’m coming from by choosing to have this cancer over it choosing me. It’s far more freeing and thus more powerful place to come from by being the one in charge.

Live life in lieu of life living you.

Tag from Gregg - a 45 year friend...

2008-05-13T10:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Randy,

It was great getting together with you and Larry over lunch last week. Your candidness, compassion for others and hopeful perseverance is an inspiring testimony. To hear you tell it like it is shows you embrace reality and dignify us as listeners. It is life-giving! Thank you.

It was fun reminiscing some of the old stories – like the warm water (sewage) we found when camping. How our parents camped in that fashion is a wonder – if I recall, one outhouse and all meals were cooked, dishes washed, etc. + cleaning fish. Then us kids coming in smelling like ….. I guess I understand why the mom’s didn’t continue on that annual fishing trip.

Also, thanks for validating my early memory of you riding Flipper (Mitzy) as I vaguely recall envying you and being disappointed I got pulled in a boat because I was not old enough. You did, however, fulfill my disappointment of presenting me with the Donald Duck hat (with squeaky bill) I wanted at Six Gun Territory (I believe) about twenty-five years later. I was surprised how many seemed to know of that story of my dad offering me many other cowboy hats, but I refused – must have thrown quite a fit. Perhaps a chip off the ol’ block as Tyler wore that hat with pride golfing a few years ago.

Randy, your blog is most impressive and I am so pleased you are surrounded with loving, caring and godly people. I find it honoring to God as your faith is inspiring to so many of us. Trusting in God’s good purpose and embracing life in a adventurous fashion is how I believe we’re meant to live. And Randy, you’ve had and are having your share of adventure.

Did you and the kids make it up to Mt. Eleanor? A friend was up that way on Sunday and almost got stuck in the snow. If so, hope you all had a great time.

Keep in touch and know a call is welcome anytime. Perhaps I’ll see you when your parents visit.
I pray for your quick healing and to continue fighting with strength, vigor and humor. That is you.

Gregg

B James

2008-05-12T12:38:00.000-07:00

Broady -

You are one of the luckiest people I've ever known. Lucky, gifted, charming and charmed. So of course your latest turn of events leaves me wondering how you and the universe are going to join forces to work some magic on this thing, too.

Jesus, Randy. Cancer. This is where everything you've learned your whole life, everything you've grown to be, gets challenged and put to the test. If anyone has the heart to rise above, it's you my friend.

You've always had a knack for cultivating quality relationships and I'm so happy to know you have such loving and devoted people around you. God bless Liam and Brad. I don't know them, but God bless 'em.

And now you have my daily prayers to add to the roster of many many folks who are pulling for you and sending you their love and support.

I don't know if this is the appropriate venue to catch up on what's happening in my life. Let's just say, life is treating me very well in Portland. I'm madly in love and happily married. I live in the best place on earth. I'm healthy and happy and broke most of the time. We're raising a few chicks for pets and I get to be a mother hen which is the closest to motherhood I'm going to get and that's perfectly fine with me.

Thank you for writing to me and letting me know what's happening. Randy, if you ever want some company, I'm just a few hours away. If you want to talk I'd love to hear your thoughts. We've always had a such a sweet connection even through all of the lapses in time. And here we are and this is huge and I will be there for you in any way you need me to be. Whatever you need and however your needs change. Silently, on the phone or in person. Please let me know.

Big Big Love,

BJames

Purpose Driven Life

2008-05-11T11:14:00.002-07:00

Rick Warren wrote ("PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE"). With his wife now having cancer and him having "wealth" from the book sales, below is an insightful short interview with the author.

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.
One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.
I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.
Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.
God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,"which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.
Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

* Happy moments, PRAISE GOD
* Difficult moments, SEEK GOD
* Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD
* Painful moments, TRUST GOD
* Every moment, THANK GOD

Letter From an Old Friend - Monica

2008-05-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

Randy -

I wanted to e-mail you and let you know that I think of you every day and pray for your healing. I have enjoyed reading your blog and I am struck with how God has formed your vibrant soul, which is larger in personality than you are in physical form.

What a blessing to be formed by God in such a way that you have the ability to bring life into a room, situation, event etc. My father was that way. It is a much needed gift in this world. He had a purity of heart, an ability to give that people need. I see that talent in you.

Randy, I am in your corner. I believe that God can heal.

Monica

Hi Moni,

So great to hear from you after all this time. Funny how it takes an illness to bring us back together after all these years but that's the beauty of God and how HE likes to work. I'm so very blessed to have the people in my corner through this it's sometimes daunting to make the connection. But I am grateful.

Charlotte Graham and I have been back in touch for over a year and what a true blessing that has been. We've really become quite good friends and I enjoy her more every day she's in my life. What a true loving soul she is and again, I'm so very grateful God brought her back into my world as the connection runs deep.

Carol had /has so many good friends (although at the time I thought they were only put on earth to tease me) and it's good to hear from / see them again.

Thank you for reaching out and making the re-connection. You were always one of my favorites on my sisters team with your non assuming demeanor, genuineness and easy going fun loving style. Your smile remains an infectious image etched in my soul to this day. I still recall the night you, Sheri Knosum (sp) & Carol played Barbies in Carol's room. That picture still runs deep with the innocence, fun and smiles in your high school hearts ...

Much love and please stay in touch.

Wishing you all that is good,

Randy

The week following Chemo session #2

2008-05-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

A quick note to let you know how this past week has gone since my 2nd treatment. In a word, different than the first. As in more challenging. I've felt weaker and more nauseated this week with the worst days being Sat & Sun (same as last go around). Difference is this lingered a bit more and just plain wore me out by mid / end of the day. Sleep hasn't been my best friend @ night either.

All in all though, if this is the worst they throw me, I'm still in good shape. There's a cancer rumor running around that the worse you feel with chemo, the better it's working. Don't know that I buy into that one and my Dr. just smiled when I mentioned it, but if it's the case, I'm on my road to recovery.
The other is that with each treatment, you feel a bit more of the negative effects as well. Again, my Dr. told me my symptoms following should be similar to the first...well, they weren't. The second one was definitely more intense from a feeling crappy most of the time than the first.

Again the good news, it's been a week and I feel better with each passing day. So I'm looking forward to that course of action continuing. I can handle feeling like a pile of Sahara desert beetle dung for a week to get the cancer out of my body, that's for sure.

I'm planning on taking the kids and their friends along with our trusted guide Jim next weekend on a snow hike up in the Olympics. Jim knows of a natural snow shoot similar to a toboggan run where you can slide down on your rump and Riley's had his heart set on this since last fall. Hopefully the stars will align and we'll all be careening down the slope ice ax in hand and snow a flying in a rooster tail as we flail around like a bunch of snow monkeys. It's apparently about a 1500' slide...full report when I'm back.

Best to all. Two down, one to go...

Slow Dance - the poem

2008-05-07T06:56:00.000-07:00

Slow Dance

This poem was written by a teenager with cancer, a terminally ill young girl in a New York hospital .

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever
Watched kids

On a merry-go-round?

Or listened to
The rain

Slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a
Butterfly's' erratic flight?

Or gazed at the sun into the fading
Night?

You better slow down.

Don't dance so
Fast.

Time is short.

The music won't
Last.

Do you run through each day

On the
Fly?

When you ask How are you?

Do you hear the
Reply?

When the day is done

Do you lie in your
Bed

With the next hundred chores

Running through
Your head?

You'd better slow down

Don't dance so
Fast.

Time is short.

The music won't
Last.

Ever told your child,

We'll do it
Tomorrow?

And in your haste,

Not see
His

Sorrow?

Ever lost touch,

Let a good
Friendship die

Cause you never had time

To call
And say,'Hi'

You'd better slow down.

Don't dance
So fast.

Time is short.

The music won't
Last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere

You
Miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry
Through your day,

It is like an unopened
Gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a
Race.

Do take it slower

Hear the
Music

Before the song is over.

------------
--------

Weekend after Chemo #2

2008-05-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

Randy in the waiting room before Chemo session #2.

We left the SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) at about 5:30. Randy was a bit pale, but otherwise in good form.
Even with everything on his mind, with tubes hanging out of him, he was on the phone to contacts in Microsoft trying to get a contract for his old friend Liam.

I dropped him him. He took a quick shower and he and I headed to Hector's for a quick dinner. He was so tired he went straight back to bed.

The weekend came quickly and so did the expected fatigue. His hair is beginning to thin out. We both thought that'd be a good sign. Since chemo attacks fast growing cells, such a hair cells, it could be a sign that the chemo is working aggressively against the cancer cells too.

It's now Saturday mid-afternoon.
More postings to come...
Liam

A letter from my friend Cindy

2008-05-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

Hi Randy,

How are you? I think of you from time to time and wonder, how is Randy? Did you ever sell your place in Grapeview and buy the place next door? How are the kids? Are you still living in Kirkland? Are you selling real estate? I am doing well. I am working with my clients whom I love, running, swimming, and playing a lot. I still love concerts and in fact I'm goingto one in Seattle tonight. So many fun things to do! Keep in touch, I like hearing from you.

Cindy :)

Hi Cindy,

Very nice to hear from you. Much has changed in a very short time since we last corresponded. The house in Grapeview sold 1st of the month and it was a good thing and timing. The house down the way still eludes me but I stay in touch with the owner and hope to revisit after Mothers day as she's having her kids down and I believe they're going to discuss. So, it's still on the docket but not with any real movement. Timing is everything.

The kids are great and growing like a weed. Emily a total teenager and Riley readying his body for puberty. Both so sweet though and they mean the world to me. I'm taking them next weekend on a snow hike up in the Olympics to slide down a natural slide shoot. Jim has done it many times and will serve as our guide.

I am still in Kirkland and its working out well. I've even gone back to work. I'm just plugging along and not killing my self and it feels good to get back in the swing of things.

On a bit of a more serious note, I have been diagnosed with lung cancer and have begun to the battle. It has only been a month since I was diagnosed but things have been moving very quickly since. I'll not bore you with the details in this note but will send you the link to my blog which you can catch up, write on, add images, etc. Some days I'm up for talking, some not. So this is a good way to keep posted.

Great to hear from you Cindy. I too think of you and wish you all good things in your island paradise.

Love, Randy

OH MY GOD Randy! I read this e-mail and then your complete blog and I am very upset! What is going on in this life? I HATE cancer! I am so sorry that I haven’t kept in touch with you these past months.

You know, I was talking to a friend just two days ago and I said, “There are only two men who I felt I was attracted to both physically and mentally and one was Randy”. I am looking for a man with your personality. Kind, funny, positive, honest, and fun. That’s you.

My girlfriend’s husband is going through a stem cell transplant at the Cancer Care Alliance in Seattle and they have been staying at the Pete Groves Apartments next to the clinic. He has Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I have been staying in touch with them daily and they are doing ok for now. What a great place!

I would love to keep in touch with you and talk when you have time and energy. I would also love to come visit you sometime. Please feel free to call my anytime. I know a bit about the stresses of Cancer as you know. I will be sending you very good thoughts every moment and know that a lot of people love you.

Cindy

Cindy,

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and words. You are such a sweetheart and I know had logistics / timing / etc. been better, you and I would have had far more of relationship as I felt much the same way.

Life is strange and wonderful. It sure has its twists. And if you want to make God laugh, just share your plans with him. I want you to know that I'm choosing this cancer, not letting it choose me. And that's very empowering. That's not to say some days I don't have my moments and concerns; they exist. Mostly around my kids and being around for them. But I'm not afraid of this journey and am ready to tackle whatever it presents. That brings me great peace.

I truly feel I am one of the most blessed beings I've ever known. I have so many wonderful things in my life to be thankful for I cannot begin to list them all. It's truly a wonder that God has been so good to me as I don't begin to feel I've begun to return the favors. Perhaps this is the moment of truth He's set in motion for me.

One thing I have definitely picked up through this experience already is a much greater sense of compassion. To go into the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance and walk through the different floors and see the multitude of patients in their current physical / mental state is quite an eye opener. Cancer is an epidemic and although the professionals continue to make inroads, there is a long long way to go to find a cure. It's really quite something when you get in the middle of it. Again though, I believe that attitude is 99% of the healing process and as long as I hold this tight and near, there's not much control this illness has over me.

Kindest wishes,

Randy

2nd round of chemo

2008-04-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

In for 2nd session and so far eventless...a bit tired from the sed's they gave me but other than that, contstant flow and lot's of trips to the john down the hall.

The PET result from yesterday were as expected per the doc this am. Glass half full the tumor hasnt grown, glass half empty, the lymphs still on fire. So, no real change from the 1st chemo but as the Dr prefaced, this would be the case.

Liam brought me in and is picking me up for the ride home. Brad stopped in for several hours as did Charlotte Graham. All good visits and helped the time go by and I was able to introduce anther set of friends / supporters. All very good in my world.

So, that's about it. All in a days work and again, one day @ time.

Love to you all,

Randy

Randy's update day before Chemo #2

2008-04-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

From: Randy Broad
Date: Tue, Apr 29, 2008 at 11:37 AM
Subject: Fwd: Happy Spring!
To: Liam Scanlan

Liam,

Here's an update for the blog.

I've been a bit out of pocket and not updating the blog myself since the chemo but please know it's gone quite well. That said, I have had a couple of set backs. Some on the emotional and physical front and both were quite draining and thus, not particularly up to writing / posting / updating.

Upside, Brad and Liam are true troopers on all fronts. Not sure how I would be getting through this ordeal without them. They've been there daily/hourly and sometimes with little to no warning.

Thursday around noon I passed a bunch of blood during a bowl movement. No forewarning, no pain, nothing. Just a toilet full of deep red blood. I thought I was visiting the Red Sea. Called the doc and said get my 'ass' in there asap. So they did a complete exam, checked my blood count/cells, ran some more tests, rechecked my med's, etc. And low and behold, couldn't find a thing out of whack. Summation was hemorrhoids. I've had hemorrhoids maybe 20 years ago and know the feeling, etc. This was a completely a different experience. So, I'm not sure what to think other than they said if you pass more blood, call us and we'll get you into a proctologist and look 'deeper'.

The suck thing about this all is you just can't plan. I had two meetings set for that afternoon which of course I had to scramble to cancel at the last minute and subsequently spend the afternoon in the hospital. The good thing is it apparently was a false alarm with no real issue and the response from my Dr./staff team was/is amazing. One would think I was the only person in the building with a problem. I'm confident that if ever there was a better place to have cancer care treatment, it couldn't beat Seattle. It's truly amazing me every time I'm in the treatment centers.

I also started a complete regime of naturopathic supplements to go along with the rest of my treatment. I had my pharmacist (yes I have my own dedicated one @ SCCA) check them to ensure they coincide with chemo to ensure there aren't any counter agents at work. So my day begins with about 15 minutes dedicated to swallowing pills of one nature or another.

So that's the latest. 2nd PET scan on Monday, 2nd round Chemo on Wed. If I do no worse on the 2nd chemo as 1st, I'm in good shape.

Cheers,

Randy

it is nothing!

2008-04-25T17:07:00.000-07:00

the word is so strong.

we had a little scare on thursday, Randy noticed blood in his stool and the doc's had told him to watch for anything unusual. he called the SCCA and they told him to come right in.

Liam and I met him there and we went thru 5 hours of questions and tests. a loving army of 6 standing by him, all silently afraid, but holding it back and holding him up.
False alarm- no big deal! we all felt exhausted after the relief.

The staff there is incredible. the doc told him to do anything he wanted and to have fun. it was great. i think there may be no finer care in the world- these people are so sincere and they bust their tails to do the best job they can.

we appreciate it!

out to dinner and toasted just being alive and having friends

love to all
brad

A Dog's purpose

2008-04-21T15:56:00.001-07:00

A Dog's Purpose (from a 6-year-old's perspective)

As a veterinarian, I was called to examine a ten-year-old Irish
Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners Ron, his wife Linda and
their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker. They
were hoping for a miracle..

I examined Belker and found he was dying. I told the family we
couldn't do anything for Belker. I offered to perform the
euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Linda told me they thought it
would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure.
They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker's
family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog
for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going
on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any
difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after
Belker's death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal
lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening
quietly, piped up, "I know why."

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next
stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explanation.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a
good life--like loving everybody all the time and being nice,
right?" The six-year -old continued, "Well, dogs already know how
to do that, so they don't have to stay as long."

So far, so good

2008-04-18T07:15:00.000-07:00

Well over a week has passed since the first phase of chemo. The color has come back to Randy's cheeks and he has returned to his original upbeat self.

The weekend was a bit rough, as the doctors told him it would, but it seemed to mess up no more than about 48 hours; Saturday and Sunday, then the discomfort cleared and he was able to concentrate on staying healthy, doing some work, keeping in touch with Emily and Riley, and generally gearing himself up for the next session on chemo which will be in less than 2 weeks (It will be another Wednesday 30th April.)

A long heart-to-heart with his PCP Doctor Cotton seemed to help a lot. Randy and Cotton go back a LONG way and her counseling of him over an hour and a half seemed to help him a lot.

Yesterday, the reminders of the phase after the chemo seemed to get Randy a little on edge, and I could tell he was interested in having some company rather than sitting home alone all evening. Perhaps the reminder that, when the time comes, doctors would do a full sweep of his body to look for how well his body responded to chemo would be a challenging time. Still, the signs so far are good.

We are all hoping for the best and are confident that Randy's constitution will serve him well over the next weeks.

Best of luck, Randy. We are with you all the way.

Liam

Tips for a better life in 08

2008-04-11T08:29:00.001-07:00

Tips for Better Life - 2008
1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is theultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Buy a lock if you haveto.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'Mypurpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2007.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, tai chi, and prayer. Theyprovide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that ismanufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water.. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskansalmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new andflowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues ofthe past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead investyour energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems aresimply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra classbut the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like acollege kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journeyis all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, willthis matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. GOD heals almost everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will.Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!) Hey I'm thinkingof ya!
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I amthankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainlydon't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make themost of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about.
May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing buthappiness come through your door!

Guardian Angel

2008-04-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

From: Randy Broad <randy.broad@opalent.com>
Date: Thu, Apr 10, 2008 at 6:14 PM
Subject: SOMETING FOR THE BLOG...
To: me
_____

I am sending this to you to see how many actually read their e-mail.
Your response will be interesting. Pay attention to what you read.
After you have finished reading it, you will know the reason it was sent to
you...
Here goes:

p

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you
have expressed.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with
guidance and support,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to
be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.

Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled,
their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to
share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other
relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

Send this to every friend that you have on-line,
including the person who sent it to you.

0 Replies - you may need to work on your 'people skills'
2 Replies - you are nice but probably need to be more outgoing
4 Replies - you have picked your friends well!
6 Replies - you are downright popular
8 Replies or More - you are totally awesome
(and that's probably why you're on MY list)

I wonder what mine will be.

GUARDIAN ANGEL
Forward this message the same day you received it It may sound
ridiculous, but it is right on time
We believe that something is about to happen. Angels exist, only
sometimes they haven't got wings and we call them friends; you are one of
them. Something wonderful is about to happen to you and your friends.
Tomorrow at 4:47 pm somebody will address you and tell you something you
have been waiting to hear. Please do not break it. Send it to at least 7
of your friends.

Randy's update on Chemo Day One

2008-04-11T07:24:00.001-07:00

From: Randy Broad
Date: Thu, Apr 10, 2008 at 10:12 PM
Subject: Chemo - round one
To: [all]>

(click to enlarge)
7:30am: Randy gives blood to be used for a full round of tests before the action begins.

Well, I survived my first round of chemo just fine. My day started @ 5:30am and back home @ 7pm. I didn't sleep all that well the night before with lots of wild dreams but it was manageable. It made for a long day for sure but all in all it went well. I had no idea what to expect and went with an open mind and as I said, it was less eventful than I thought might be. Mostly education and lying on a bed with a tube in my arm with a lot of attn from my good nurse Jim.

Liam picked me up, drove me, sat through the first several hours of educational Dr's, nurses, pharmacists, etc. meetings.

(click to enlarge)
8:30am: Randy, his oncologist Dr. Eaton and nurse (I think Debbie) go over the fine print

Got settled to my room for the injections to begin. Jennifer came by for a visit as well as Brad Easton and the day passed quickly. Liam came back around 4:30 and a ride back home I was out the door by five.

The final visitor of the day was the staff Chaplain (Rev Debra Jarvis). She stopped in while Liam was there and we had a pretty round the ball bark conversation. She's a full time SCCA rev and her day consists of stopping in each of the patients room (over 50 on my floor and all full and constantly flipping throughout the day - needless to say we're I'm not alone). A cancer survivor herself, she's been there for 3 years and loves her job. I cannot imagine all the lives she touches and the experience of life she must realize.

One topic I brought up with her was the best way to tell my parents. Which I have yet to do. This is a biggy for me as we don't need more patients and one that will cause a great deal of stress and anxiety in their lives and I'm seeking the best advice on how to / when to deliver the news. I've sent her mail and hope to nail down this decision as quickly as possible.

Lastly, I have not experienced any nausea / side effects so far. Just a bit of fatigue. Dr. Eaton called today to check in on me to see how I was and said that Saturday would prob be my toughest day but by next Tues I should be pretty much back to normal. I slept a good deal today but I attribute that mostly to sitting up first with Liam and then D'Laina came over last night and talked through the days activities. It was very good to have them over after that day and we drank some wine, ate some old stinky cheese, and laughed and shared our love and feelings. It was a very good end to a day that was not too bad.

Off to a good start! Chemo round two is 20 days from today.

It's great to have so much love and attention from you all and knowing that you all care so much. I send you all my love and appreciation for your support.

Kindest and warmest and loving thoughts,

Wishing you all that is good.

Randy

PS, jennifer spoke to her friend and assc Susan Fox of the EX Dir of the Seattle Chapt of the Jubilee Womens recovery center...she has added me to their nuns prayer rites.

PSS, I'm off to get a good short cropped haircut for summer tomorrow....

2008-04-09T10:12:00.001-07:00

http://www.seattlecca.org/patientsandfamilies/adultCare/clinicalProgs/lung/DoctorProfiles/Martins.htm

Randy's Oncologist, great info

2008-04-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

i had a couple tears and sobs on sunday and a few more tonight reading the blog.

but i am glad to hear him say he has picked up the fight. i knew he would, but it is a lot to swallow.

i am not sure i understand the statement that he has chosen this cancer and it has no power over him-
whatever helps him feel better is alright with me. but i like the idea that he is now fighting. his demeanor has changed. he plans to build a garden for the kids, he is taking Riley to Korean Sword Fighting, he has to get the lots re-vegetated so he can sell them. these are a few of the several things he mentioned--

he wondered if this was message from God a few days back

i read a nice verse in Ecclesiastes,chp 9 v 2................ "All things come alike to all. There is one event to the righteous and to the wicked, to the good and to the clean and to the" unclean.....................

anyway, we all get rained on whether we deserve it or not.

i lunched with him today and he was getting up for the chemo tomorrow, we spoke to an assistant at the Clinic- they are really very sweet and helpful. So he will have a long one tomorrow. he may be able and want to chat -or not, maybe he will sleep or read. i plan to stop by and will let you know how it goes.

after all the shock, tomorrow is the first day of solutions.
brad

The art of being alive

2008-04-08T07:30:00.000-07:00

From: Randy Broad
Date: Tue, Apr 8, 2008 at 2:27 AM
Subject: an addition to the blog

The most visible creators I know are artists whose medium is life. They are the ones who express the impossible through creation...creation from nothing - they don't necessarily use a brush, chisel, clay or a violin. They neither stand at the pulpit nor the mountain top - their medium is understanding life and its being. Whatever their presence touches has made a positive impact and strives to improve life in its creation. They see, feel and emerge; plant a seed, grow a garden, create life where none exists. They share life's experience and are artists in the art of being alive. These are God's greatest gifts and HE bestows them upon us all and guides us to our calling every day....It is our duty to hear the voice, follow the lead and take the necessary action to serve in HIS light.

Emily and Riley. The toughest conversation of his life, so far.

2008-04-07T17:12:00.000-07:00

Randy and Jennifer sat Emily and Riley down for a 'family meeting' as Randy put it.

"Is this about school reports?" Riley asked.

As sensitively as it could possibly be done, Randy explained to Emily and Riley that Daddy had been visiting the hospital a few times and he knows now he has lung cancer. A few details later, Riley broke down and asked 'Why you, Daddy?".
"I don't know, Riley", Randy answered.
Riley curled up in his Dad's lap and cried for a long time.

There's a lot more detail in that evening and for Randy, it was the toughest conversation he has ever had.

Every Tuesday from here on, the Two R's would go out and do something together.

2nd opinion, from Dr. Kovack

2008-04-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

Doctor Kovack, an oncologist based in Overlake, saw Randy on Friday.
Thankfully, no big surprises today.

Kovack was extraordinary. A true gentleman, he really took the time to explain what Randy's options were and was clearly prepared to stay with Randy and answer his questions for as long as Randy wanted him to.
They say that patients do better when they know their caregivers actually do care and I got the distinct impression that Kovack cared for each and every patient he met.
A good sign of things to come...

Still I Rise by Maya Angelou (she turns 80 today)

2008-04-06T08:49:00.000-07:00

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

2nd opinion from Doctor Hwuang

2008-04-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

I picked up Randy and we headed to Overlake to see Dr. Hwuang, scheduled to give Randy a second opinion.

It was 45 minutes before the doctor could see Randy. He had been in the middle of surgery, and was headed for another surgery right after Randy's visit. A busy man.

This visit, Randy and I were shown a set of impressive scans on the computer. Hwuang scrolled up and down through seemingly thousands of scans of Randy's torso such that it gave a distinct 3-d impression and convincing mental picture of what was going on.
Thankfully, there were no big surprises, although as the doctor was thinking out loud, he let the term "3B" slip, which of course sent a chill through Randy.
Hwuang backtracked from that comment (and later apologized to Randy for overstating the problem).

The images showed exactly where the tumors were situated and, if I read the charts right and understood, the coughing up of blood came from a rupture in his bronchial passageway due to a lymphnode tumor putting pressure on the bronchial wall.

In the end, his observations matched Randy's prognosis from the previous day, and his recommended course of treatment was also the same. So it was with some relief that there was no extra bad news to be learned.

The good news is that Dr. Hwuang said Randy had a 50% chance that imminent round of chemotherapy would cure him of the disease. That's up from the earlier doctor's estimate of 20-30%.

And so, the battle begins. Tuesday next, Randy goes for his chemo, an all-day, one-day session.

more to come...
Liam

Wednesday visit - first major discussion on prognosis:

2008-04-04T07:41:00.000-07:00

Wednesday visit - first major discussion on prognosis:

Email report from Brad Easton:

A gorgeous day and beautiful facility, The receptionist gave Randy 4-5 pages of questionnaires to fill out, some pretty obscure questions, but later it turns out that there is a reason for almost everything.

A nurse took his vitals and we waited in a room for about 30 minutes , a PA came in and reviewed the questionnaires and asked more specifics. Later the doc came in and asked for a brief. Doctor Wood is a surgeon and he asked what if anything had Randy been advised regarding treatment. 'Not very much' Randy replied.

The doctor took his time and explained that his expertise was surgery and staging the cancer, and ex-plained that stages 1, 2 & 3 have sub-stages of A & B. depending on how advanced the cancer is. Very professional and you get the notion this guy really knows his stuff.

He then said that Randy had lung cancer in the 3A stage. 1 being early and 4 being the worst. Not the news we were sure we would hear. 'Why?'---- because the CT and PET scans showed the N1 and N2 lymph glands were involved. So not only are the lymphs that are the closest to the lung but it has advance to the second group of lymphs. The MRI showed the brain to be clean and the PET showed that the involvement was only to the lymph and not other organs. They can do a biopsy of the lymphs to be certain but they felt it would be redundant- the films show clearly that they are involved. this Doc was well practiced at giving this speech.

3A is the most complicated to treat- because simple surgery will not tell if there are cancer cells in the other organs that we cannot see yet, or if it has spread to a third group of lymphs. It is however treatable with a curative intent. he guessed a combo of chemo first, then surgery and maybe radiation. declined to answer questions that a Cancer doc should answer. they avoid giving concrete prognosis- only stats-

he called his partner oncologist who said he could see Randy at 2 oclock- that was less than two hours from then. a very nice courtesy.

we went to lunch in shock. but Randy was still laughing and making jokes- he spoke with Rojean on the way, who had a similar diagnosis 7 years ago- she was comforting.

After Lunch a meeting with the oncologist- Doctor Renato Martins. also a guy that really gave you a good sense that he knew what he was talking about. he did his school and intern back east and then worked his way to be head of the Cancer Society for Brazil. perfect english. old school in his manner- he did an exam on Randy, listened to lungs, looked down his throat and asked for a med history. questions about family history, social support system, lifestyle.

He suggested a start on chemo before the surgery. chemo goes after everything, everywhere. so it will attack cancer sells in the body we cannot see. two courses, then a ct scan, a third course and then surgery.
between the courses doing a ct scan to see if the tumor has shrunk or grown, and to see if the lymphs are responding to the therapy. sometimes it is gone....... another course of chemo, then the surgery. Randy has what he described as a 'huge' lung capacity. the surgery will not affect his breathing capacity. all those years of talking paid off!

The chemo meds:
Cisplatin- which can cause nausea, they give meds for that. rarely it affects hearing.
Lance Armstrong took this med. it requires massive amounts of liquids to protect the kidneys. the therapy is an entire day on IV.
Alimta- same side effects
lots of patients work full time thru the chemo, most do not lose their hair.

When do we start? he advised in the next few days- he is out on vacation next week but advised Randy not to wait for his return........he made an appointment for monday, Randy will meet the other two docs in Kirkland and decide where he wants to go. if with these guys, it would be with the Cancer Care
Alliance- they have great ads and 'treat the whole person'. During Chemo he cannot allow himself to get a fever. the chemo lowers the blood count and the bacteria in mouth and gut can overtake the system.

felt like 24 hours passed in just 6. Randy is overwhelmed by all the info. questions of how long he had it were answered with guesses of 1-3 years. sometimes the cells double every 250 days or as long as 800 days.
he is worried mostly about his kids, when should he tell them? if the chemo goes well it may be they never know he is in treatment.
if the chemo goes well the surgery is more a formality- he will have beaten the cancer with chemo, but they still take the area infected out as well as the lymphs that showed infection.

hope that fills you in. i have pages of scribbled notes, forgive my grammar- just trying to get information out so Randy doesn't have to answer the same question multiple times.

brad

Randy picked up scan data. Will know more tomorrow...

2008-04-01T11:58:00.000-07:00

[from Randy's email of a few moments ago]

"I’m of the mindset that until I really know the shape of the ship I’d prefer to keep in our tight circle. I should know a lot more by eod tomorrow. I picked up all my scans and reports for the doc tomorrow so he can see what’s what.

Thanks,

Randy

[end of email]

The news March 21, 2008, confirmation on 24th

2008-04-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

Randy has been coughing for a while. For about 3 years in fact.
He had quite a dose of something in the week ending March 21 and decided to go to Overlake to get it checked out. Coughing up a bit of blood, it was time to take a hard look.

March 18th, his doctor told him he had "either pneumonia or lung cancer". He was to take some antibiotics for a few days and if it didn't clear up, they would look closer.
By Friday March 21, it hadn't cleared and they took a much closer look.
I picked Randy up at the east door of Overlake. He got into the car and said "well, Liam, I have lung cancer".

By Monday 24th, the lab was able to tell Randy that it was "small cell carcinoma", that it was still very small (1 to 2 centimeters in length) and they would probably cut out the lower section of his left lung and follow that with chemo and radiation.

This week, he goes for a battery of tests.
Monday, his brain scan came up clean. nothing there, which is good news because lung cancer often travels to the brain for some reason.
This news increases the chances that he has caught it early.

Today (April 1) he goes for a breath test. They want to see if his breathing is strong enough to handle the removal of the lower half of his left lung. The test is a pretty straight forward procedure. Here is there now, as I type this, and I hope to have a cup of tea in Starbucks when he gets out.

Love to all.
Liam