Several of you have had questions around my position of 'choosing' cancer over it choosing me. Please allow me to explain where I'm coming from and my position on this topic.
Choosing cancer for me is all about empowerment. Empowerment of a disease that has infected my body. If I allow the cancer to choose me then I’m giving it all the power. I’m choosing not to do that and taking away all the power from the disease.
Picture this if you will. Imagine someone holding two ice cream cones out in front of you; vanilla & chocolate. They ask, which one do you want, vanilla or chocolate? Go ahead, choose one.
Now, why did you choose the one you chose? My guess is you’ll give lot’s of ‘reasons’ why you chose one over the other. You like one flavor over the other, looks better, tastes better, fewer calories, bigger cone, more/less on one than the other, etc.
Now try it again and choose which one you want and ask yourself, why did I choose one over the other. Your answer should be I chose the one I chose because I chose it. No reason needed. As humans we get wrapped around explaining ourselves and rationalizing our subsequent decisions all the time on why we do what we do, why we need to look good, not look bad, etc. Choosing something because you CHOSE it is so much more in the moment and freeing oneself of approval or disapproval, need to or not need to, hope I will or can, etc. Who needs it? I sure don’t.
I choose cancer because I choose cancer. There’s a lesson in this that God wants me to learn from and take on from now through eternity. There is absolutely nothing I can do over having cancer as it will be with me forever / never go away (now that I’ve got it). That’s not to say that the doctors cant work their wonders to make it go into remission and prolong my life on earth but that’s the best they can do. Remission. Remission is not removal. That being the case, why would anyone want to take a position of succombing to IT and allowing IT to control oneself. I refuse to give it any such power and thus diminish it’s ability to interfere with or take away my spirit.
I hope that helps to explain where I’m coming from by choosing to have this cancer over it choosing me. It’s far more freeing and thus more powerful place to come from by being the one in charge.
Live life in lieu of life living you.